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Last Updated: March 15, 2008 - 3:24 PM
Practical spirituality for a complicated world.
Dear Robert,
I have studied Metaphysics and alternative spirituality for many
years. It has taught me to look at the world in a different way
than many of my family and friends. I was telling some of my relatives
about the chemical spraying, or chemtrails. I told them that you had
written about it in your column several months ago. My brother-in-law
started shouting that I needed to wear a tin foil hat, because I was a
conspiracy freak. He said that the government would never allow anyone
to spray chemicals in the sky, but I said that the government might
even be doing it. He really lost it, and said some terrible things to
me. Everyone else seemed to be in shock, and just sat there. No one
tried to defend me. I felt embarrassed and shunned by the people who
are closest to me. I didn’t want to strike back, because I believe that
violence and aggression only cause more violence and aggression. I just
sat there in silence, and he finally blew off enough steam to calm
down. So far, he has not apologised for his behaviour. I feel very
abused by him, and I resent my other family members for not saying
something to him. I strive to walk my talk, as you write about, so I
need some advice. What is the best way to deal with compassion,
understanding and love when you’re attacked? Thanks in advance for your
help.
JP, Santa Fe
Dear JP,
Thank you for your letter. This issue is not about chemtrails.
I’ve already written what I need to say about that. I’ll respond
instead, to the topics of defending oneself, and of seeking balance and
harmony in spiritual living.
There is not one single spiritual method of responding to every
situation. I believe our responses would best be tailored to the
circumstances of each individual occasion, whether it is a confrontive
encounter, or a supportive conversation. Walking our talk on a
spiritual path doesn’t mean that we have to be robotic, with canned
responses. In fact, some of the most hateful, mean-spirited people I’ve
ever met, always had sweet smiles and said all the right things. They
learned to smile as they killed. My goal in walking a spiritual path is
to always act with compassion for all sentient beings. It sounds as if
you are familiar with that Buddhist principle. I do not always live up
to my high ideals, and I will share with you in today’s column how I
reacted to an unpleasant person only recently. First, let’s explore
some possible ways you could have responded to your brother-in-law. You
could have left, assuming that you weren’t in your own home. If you
were in your own home, you could have asked him to leave. You could
have told him that if he were willing to discuss things rationally and
calmly, you would oblige him, but you refused to engage in
shouting. Since he is a relative, perhaps you were wise to have
been a bit more patient than you would have normally. I think you’re
correct in saying that violence and aggression only breed more of the
same.
On the other hand.....sometimes, you just need to tell how the cow ate
the cabbage. There are situations when we need to respond firmly. Now,
be aware that your response might rule out the possibility of future
dialogue. Then again, there are folks we’re better off not having
around. Shall I tell you about a recent encounter of my own?
On a Sunday afternoon, not long past, the Redneck Hindu, accompanied by
James, went to the Lucky Sav-On on Cordova, to buy some chromium
picolinate. I was preoccupied with my errand and didn’t notice that
James was talking with someone. I looked around, saw them, and walked
over. James said, “Robert, this is Igor (not his real name), whom we
met about five years ago. Do you remember? He says he’s a big fan of
your column”. I replied, “It’s nice seeing you Igor, and I’m
happy to hear you enjoy my column”. He said, “My wife likes it much
more than I do”. I thought that was a bit odd, but according to local
standards, not too rude. I responded, “Oh, I see. Well, I’m glad
your wife can find something of value in my writing”. I was trying to
respond with kindness, and willing to peacefully withdraw, continuing
what turned out to be a futile search for chromium picolinate. Oh, but
Igor wished to continue, and he told me that I was a liar and a racist.
I wish I could tell you that I was surprised, but I wasn’t. I am a
white male from the South, and not just the South, but South
Mississippi. I’m used to the fact that the politically correct,
multicultural, tolerant, open-minded contingent here, use the term
“racist” quite freely to discredit anything they don’t care for. Their
faux-tolerance, like faux-adobe architecture, is everywhere in Santa
Fe. One of their basic beliefs is that being a white male, especially
Southern, means that you’re a racist. That’s one of the reasons I
decided to take the ethnic slur “Redneck”, which they use to insult us
all the time, and claim it on my own terms, to sort of diffuse it. I
asked him, “What have I ever written or said that would cause you to
say such a thing to me?” He answered, “I can’t think of anything
specific, but I know you are.” Again, this is a common response from
the politically correct crowd when they wish to discredit you. I
expected that. But you know, something about his smug attitude that
afternoon, simply p**sed me off. The rascal had already called me a
liar and a racist, so what did the Redneck Hindu have to lose? I looked
him directly in the eye, and in the strongest Southern accent I could
muster, I told him, “You are as full of sh*t as a Christmas goose.” He
was shocked, and (luckily for him) couldn’t think of anything to say.
James was surprised to a point, but after 22 years of living with the
Redneck Hindu, he is used to my little ego detours. We turned around,
and walked away. I asked James, “Where in the hell did we meet that
stupid **##@**?” James, using his dry accountant humour, told me to
forget about it, that it was just another greeting card we wouldn’t
have to send.
Here is a summary of today’s column. You have the right to define who
you are; you get to create your own spiritual path; and you get to
decide how you need to best react in situations. I try to act with as
much kindness as I can, but if people won’t let me, I take care of
business in other ways. I do not believe that spiritual seekers are
required to take any crap that someone decides to throw at us. We can
hand that crap right back. You don’t have to let bullies intimidate
you. But, if you decide to act from your own truth, there are a few
things you have to give up. First and foremost, you must give up trying
to please everyone and attempting to fulfill their expectations. It’s
really not as hard as it might sound. I’ve found it best not to try to
justify or defend myself. My Grandfather Odom used to say, “Don’t
explain yourself. Your friends don’t need it, and your enemies won’t
believe it.” That’s good advice. Generally, I’ve found it best to
quietly walk away if I possibly can. However....once in a while, I
think the most spiritual thing we can do is to say, “Oh, p**s off”. If
we can assist idiots in stopping for a second, and examining their
idiocy, perhaps we’ve done them a favour and given them a gift. Then
again, part of being an idiot is not realising you’re an idiot. I would
prefer to believe that I’m not an idiot. Just in case, though, I spend
time each day in thought and reflection on how things have gone and
what my part in it was. All in all, it seems to work for me.
I advise you to give yourself the freedom to explore and see what works
for you. You’re free to adjust things according to the spiritual
principles which guide your life. You’re really and truly free, if you
want to be. OM
Robert Ransom Odom is an internationally published author and teacher.
Robert has been a leading figure in the metaphysical spiritual community of Santa Fe since 1990.
To ask Robert a question, visit his website at www.RobertOdom.com, email desertrj@msn.com or send mail to PO Box 33, Santa Fe, NM 87504.
© Copyright 2000-2008 by Robert Ransom Odom
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