1
The city’s police chief, deputy chief and four top Fire Department managers announce they’re retiring.
City burglars and arsonists announce they’re throwing a party.

2
Homeowners should save money when buying a home under new title insurance law.
Assuming anyone ever buys a home again.

3
Miss New Mexico USA arrested for DWI.
As part of the talent competition?

4
New law requires the city to share revenue from red-light camera fines with the state.
Good thing it wasn’t about the money.

5
FBI investigating Los Alamos National Laboratory employee who tried to steal radioactive gold from the lab.
You can get a lot of money right now for radioactive gold.

6
LANL employees will have to drink lab’s tap water after lab cancels contract for bottled water.
Sometimes it’s better to stay thirsty.

7
Legislators failed to allocate money to maintain voting machines.
Now that all the important elections are over.