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Prideful lists for an immodest Santa Fe

June 22, 2011, 3:00 am


The five gayest beards (and ’staches) of all time

The Winnfield
Unspoken commentary: “You know you want it. Even I want it.”
Goes best with: tight plaid button-up and hipster-jean cutoff shorts.

The Handlebar
Unspoken commentary: “I like to keep it clean…ish.”
Goes best with: Remember McLovin’s outfit in Superbad? That.

A la Souvarov
Unspoken commentary: “Don’t assume I’m gay. I may just be French.”
Goes best with: tailored suit jacket and skinny black tie.

Friendly Mutton Chops
Unspoken commentary: “I’m a lumberjack, and I’m OK…”
Goes best with: Carhartt overalls with nothing underneath.

Federation Standard
Unspoken commentary: “One hundred percent Prada.”
Goes best with: Prada.

’Stache Numero Uno
Unspoken commentary: “Who wants a mustache ride?”
Goes best with: state trooper uniform and aviator sunglasses.

’Stache Numero Dos
Unspoken commentary: “Business on the top, party on the bottom.”
Goes best with: polka-dotted bow ties.

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