Seeing red: 'Red Dawn' displays macho chauvinism of the highest order.
It’s official. Movie studios have become so lazy and cynical they’re now remaking even the crap, such as Red Dawn.
Remember Red Dawn? It’s the jingoistic, Reagan-era piece of rah-rah shit that people somehow hold a soft spot for because it reminds them of their dumb, big-haired, shoulder-padded 1980s childhoods.
Make no mistake: It’s macho chauvinism of the highest order.
Refresher: Patrick Swayze, C Thomas Howell and Charlie Sheen are ordinary teens forced to protect their homes after the United States is invaded by Cuba, Nicaragua and the Soviet Union.
The only reason this movie isn’t described as a Tea Party wet dream is because the Tea Party didn’t exist in 1984. Flash forward to 2012, and the movie has been remade, shockingly faithfully to the original, only this time the invading forces are North Korea with help from Russia.
That’s right; North Korea—the country with no electricity that fires long-range missiles into the ocean—is the aggressor. How the invasion happens is a mystery because the North Korean ground forces are so irretrievably stupid.
As for the ‘Muricans, their character motivations are inane, the logic gaps huge. This is what happens when Walter from The Big Lebowski makes movies.
Unfortunately, it’s not funny. It’s a piece of shit.
Regal Santa Fe Stadium 14 / PG-13 / 93 min.
Well, well, so the movie reviewer for the Reporter, that paragon of even-handed politics in this oh-so-even-handed town doesn't like "Red Dawn"? What a surprise. You could have concluded your "review" with the sentence "Why couldn't they just have spent their time making a movie about the greatness of Obama?"
But to be fair, the idea that the US is going to be physically invaded and brought down by North Korea IS preposterous. It is far more likely that this country will be destroyed from the inside by pants-wetting liberals who can't wait to scrap the capitalist system that made this country great, and replace it with the same kind of socialism that has already wrecked Europe's economy. But that's a horror movie for another time, I guess. Meanwhile, maybe you could run some of your classic movie review columns, featuring breathless fawning over the "works" of Oliver Stone and Michael Moore.
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There is no way this was a tea party's wet dream. If the tea party had its way, the borders would be protected, the military would be back to the strongest most advanced military in the world (without the huge cuts that will come with Obama) in which case, there would be no way in hell anyone would get in to this country to invade. Nope; this is just another liberal artist piggy backing.
"This is what happens when Walter from 'The Big Lebowski' makes movies." Awesome!