Getting Our Just Desserts

That's the way the cookie crumbles?

I’m not exactly sure why state legislatures always feel called upon to come up with “official” state stuff, like the official state vegetable or official state insect or official state laxative, but they all seem to do it.

I recently read a thing about official state desserts. Florida's official dessert is the key lime pie. In Oklahoma it's pecan pie, in Maine it's blueberry pie and in Massachusetts it's the Boston cream pie, which of course isn't even really a pie at all.

I learned that a number of states also have official cookies. Both Massachusetts and Pennsylvania have selected chocolate chip cookies. That's what I would have chosen, too.

So then I scrolled down to see where New Mexico stands in all this, and what did I find? We were the very first state to declare an official cookie, 25 years ago.

Do you know what we chose? The bizcochito, which is a cookie flavored with anise and often made with lard.

Let me get this straight. We were the very first guys to name an official cookie. The field was wide open. We were like a kid in a candy store. I mean, you know, in a candy store that sells cookies. We could have gone for chocolate chip, or oatmeal raisin, or peanut butter, or white chocolate macadamia, but instead we went with anise and lard?

I did some research. One bakery's website informed me that bizcochitos were introduced by 16th century Spanish explorers.

Right, and everyone knows the early Spanish explorers were legendary for their yummy homemade baked goods. Local children ran around the pueblos in 1540, shouting, "Yay! Here comes Coronado, and he's introducing cookies! With anise!"

I'm no historian, but I'm going to guess that the fact that these explorers introduced the bizcochito may help explain the 1680 Pueblo Revolt against the Spanish.

Okay, so fast-forward a few hundred years. How did we get tagged with this thing as our official cookie? I have to assume the brutal, deep-pockets bizcochito lobby spread a ton of money around at the legislature to get what they wanted, no matter who suffered as a result.

I went to a bakery to buy some bizcochitos. They didn't have any. I went to another bakery, and they said I'd have to "special order" them. Really? The state cookie is a special order? You think it's this hard to get chocolate chip cookies in Massachusetts?

Folks who write about bizcochitos say they aren't well-known outside New Mexico. Boy, what a surprise! I finally found some at the third place I tried, and I'm pretty sure they were left over from the original batch the Spanish explorers introduced.

The cookies weren't awful, but still, I mean, anise? I wish our legislators would go out and try some homemade lemon squares, and then maybe take another vote.

I know you're all thinking, "Bob, did any state make an even worse choice than we did? Any place at all?"

Yes. Utah. For its official state snack, Utah selected Jell-O. As we so often say in New Mexico, "Thank God for Utah."

Most people here know the New Mexico official state question, "Red or green?" which refers to our famous chile. If we ever decide to change that question, I have a suggestion: "WTF is up with these cookies?"

Robert Basler's humor column runs twice monthly in SFR. Email the author: bluecorn@sfreporter.com

Letters to the Editor

Mail letters to PO Box 4910 Santa Fe, NM 87502 or email them to editor[at]sfreporter.com. Letters (no more than 200 words) should refer to specific articles in the Reporter. Letters will be edited for space and clarity.

We also welcome you to follow SFR on social media (on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter) and comment there. You can also email specific staff members from our contact page.