A year ago next month, my girlfriend of six years issued me the ultimatum—marriage and kids or a breakup. I chose the latter, telling her that, as much as I loved her, I couldn’t envision a life with children. She called me selfish, and she was right, but I couldn’t any longer uphold the illusion that I would change my mind/feelings.

In the Victorian era, flowers, and indeed much of life, symbolized something. With the right dictionary, one could read the flowers and colors of a bouquet like a book. OK, it’s a nice thought, but since everyone interpreted the symbols differently, it didn’t really work out.

Dating in a small town can be pretty miserable. Since I moved here from the East Coast six months ago, it’s been difficult to meet new people. But this doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Everybody knows everybody else, and you can use this to avoid dating disasters before they even happen. Example: I once dated a bisexual spirit guide I met at a bar. Had I met him in Santa Fe, I could have avoided a drawer full of healing crystals and an awkward conversation about whether I’d ever be into using a strap-on by having a quick conversation with a mutual friend.

Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore’s new book Why Are Faggots So Afraid of Faggots?: Flaming Challenges to Masculinity, Objectification, and the Desire to Conform begins by yanking readers out of the closet, burning their designer duds and enlisting them in the fight against assimilation.

I couldn’t put either my proverbial or fleshborne fingers on it. Conceptually, I knew that I was having sex (it was obvious; I was pinned beneath a naked man who was grunting, heaving and thrusting over me) but my feeling experience—down there—just wasn’t quite right.

Ah, Valentine’s Day—that wonderful holiday when your girlfriend seems to forget all the awesome stuff you do for her the rest of the year; your boyfriend frantically struggles to stretch one paycheck into jewelry, exorbitantly priced flowers and that tired yet traditional heart-shaped box of chocolates; and your pals at Hallmark get into some serious high-fiving.

If you’re wondering what happened to your adventurous man and notice any of the following signs, be aware that your partner could suffer from Lazy Man Syndrome. It usually appears in early fall and hits its climax right around the holidays. Here are the top nine symptoms

Although Valentine’s Day is often considered a typically American holiday, New Mexico presents interesting cultural variations to the popular festival—and, like other states, also has its locales whose names directly call to mind the spirit of Valentine’s Day.

I met the most beautiful man in one of the miniature interactive habitats on Meow Wolf’s giant indoor ship; who doesn’t these days? He is incredibly cute, which makes up for the fact that he’s eight years too old. But in Santa Fe, you have to raise your age cap.

I don’t know whether or not I still believe in the idea of finding your one person. Lately, I like to think everyone, everything is only on loan, the time around them then all the more meaningful. Maybe that’s why I’ve been trying internet dating after all, and why I’m finding it so fun.