Dear Doctor Guy, My friend recently stopped taking my calls because I’m dating her ex-boyfriend, but they broke up like over two years ago. I don’t know what to do.—Helpless Hottie ... More
Whether you're shacked up in sin, flying solo or anything in between there's a song to celebrate your love, or lack of, this Valentine's Day. Find the situation that rings truest below, click the link and grab yourself an aural bouquet.
1. We've all been there, madly in love with the "one" when some perfect other comes into the beloved's sights. There's no competition there. That boy/girlfriend stealer is amazing. So what to do? Play that evil temptress the White Stripes' cover of Dolly Parton's "Jolene" and hope they don't steal your lover.
2. The scenario: You're in bar with friends and your cell phone keeps buzzing. You look down and see you've got two new texts but looking at them isn't fun. You know it's a message that refers to the fight you had last night, that was an extension of the fight from last week, which was a fight about...why the hell are you in this relationship anyway? James Figurine wonders too and when you text "pack ur shit, it's over" Figurine's "55566688833" can run through your head.
3. It's Valentine's Day and you're all alone; no SO to warm your bed. That shouldn't stop you from remembering love fondly, and there's no better way to feel all warm and snuggly than to rock TV On the Radio's "Lover's Day" while thinking about that random hookup you brought home from the Cowgirl awhile back. So what it you ended up "just friends"? The sex was great.
4. Loveage has the whole sexy thing down and "To Catch a Thief" embodies the lust you felt in that love at first sight moment. Play this song for the one who stole your heart and you're sure to not leave the bed until morning. (See, it's not all bitterness over here. Jeez.)
5. Sometimes we get dumped. Getting dumped sucks. But when you think about it sometimes what hurts the most is the dumping itself rather than the end of a relationship that we probably didn't actually want to be in. But sentimentality is a big part of why people stay together. So stop wondering what could have been, have a good cry to She & Him's "Sentimental Heart" and move on!
6. Love? Whatever. Sometimes on Valentine's Day you just want to remember that kinky threesome you had with your best friends on the kitchen table after a little too much wine (though not enough to convince yourself that it was totally out of character). "Sweet Talk" by Spank Rock just might help you remember that slutty, slutty, super fun night.
7. Relationships are complicated, especially when two neurotic people are in them trying to figure out what the hell they're doing. Anavan's "Your Taking Me Out" brings all the crazy home in one short, loud, screamy song.
8. Love is all you need. Or so said the Beatles. If you're moving in with your honey bunny and need a little making love in your new kitchen soundtrack Animal Collective brings an oddly Santa Fe perfect ("I just want four walls and adobe slabs for my girls") song "My Girls." Living together is fun and it makes it easier to check up to see who your sweetie has been calling on the side.
9. The original emo rockers The Cure do broken hearted like no one else. Put down the razor blade, refrain from drunk dialing and just melt into the heartbreak with "Trust." It won't really help you own the pain but it'll sure make you feel like Robert Smith's breakups are way worse than your own.
10. That creepy person who keeps texting and emailing and showing up places you're going to be despite your saying, like 700 times, that you're not interested in a relationship or monogamy or, you know, them, needs to hear sweet little Norah Jones get all bitch with the help of Mike Patton on "Sucker."
11. Now that you've told that douche off it's time to be a little self-reflective and realize that you can be a little creepy too. That long winded voicemail you left for the person who doesn't even know who you are. Yeah. Good call jackass. But since dreamyland seems to be where you're at you can listen to "Lets Pretend We're Bunny Rabbits" by the Magnetic Fields while you wait (forever) for the phone to ring. Good luck on that one. Stalker.
12. As you look around your empty apartment and think of all the cool things you used to have before your ex moved out in the middle of the night and took all your stuff fill the room with Iron & Wine's "Jezebel." It's gonna be OK. Eventually...
13. Stop sulking at home. Get out there, be "The Hunter" Bjork-style and find yourself some sweet V-Day booty. Your prey will never see you coming but once you pounce you're sure to blow their mind. Swan dress or teddy bear suit not required but it sure as hell helps.
14. Last but not least lets pay a little tribute to everyone who has lost their love with Coil's version of "Tainted Love." The video pays tribute to all those who lost their lives or lovers to the AIDS epidemic of the '80s and was the first music release to benefit AIDS education, prevention and treatment.