Eyedropper

Good brain

Show us what has left the back of your eyelids burning. Send pictures of visual trespass and peculiarities to copyeditor [at] sfreporter.com, subject “eyedropper.”

This image was taken at the main office of De Vargas Middle School. It's of a poster made by someone who, I'm guessing, is a student smoker .

As a person who intermittently uses an X and a √ to mark "yes," I found this poster very confusing. Apparently, in less than "5-8 seconds!" which I assume is definitely under eight seconds, smoking, of some sort, kills brain cells. Forget those other, slower ways of killing brain cells. For today's Modern Man and Working Mother on the Go, smoking is the preferred way to  vanish away that pesky gray matter.

But what if fewer brain cells is not your desired effect? Fear not smokers, even though your brain cells are dead, you still have a "good brain." It's just smaller and dottier than the brains of non-smokers.

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