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New Mexico green chile costume

Get Yer Halloween Costume On!

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October 25, 2012, 5:00 pm

‘Tis the ghoulish season when ladies get to dress up as a slutty version of Marvin the Martian (yes, really) or a whorish just-about-everything-else, and men get to cover down to the ankles and gawk away.

Hail Satan, Halloween is here! And with it the opportunity to avoid those costume clichés (I see you eying that “Adult Snowy Owl costume”) and join the DIY revolution by creating a uniquely New Mexican look on the cheap.

Ready? Here we go!  

5. Green Chile

Few things scream out NM like the smell of green chile, so rock this outfit and invite your friends to whiff away (hands off the stem, you perv!) To complete the local feel, don this here hat and call yourself "Christmas."


4. Zozobra

Easily achievable with a white sheet, some wax lips and by borrowing your Nana’s wig for the night, this costume just screams out Santa Fe. For added effect, walk around with no Direction (get it?) and stuff yourself with copious amounts of candy corn (that way, when you get constipated, Zozo’s trademark moaning will be real).


3. Black Bear

Her presence in town was short, sweet and left a lasting impression. It was that of a 10-year-old lady bear who sprung up near the Plaza over Labor Day weekend making onlookers ooh and ah. Throw in a plaid shirt and some ironic glasses for a memetastic hipster bear look and recite tweets from this account to seal the deal:


2. Hot Air Balloon

Cut the bottom off your laundry basket and hit up that balloon busker dude in the Plaza et voilà! Piss off your Albuquerque friends by picking a spot in the crowded house rager you’ll no doubt attend and just lay there, never taking off. That's cold brother, cold.

Drum-roll, please....


1. Gov. Susana Martinez

Regardless of your political affiliation, you know you love her, so why not pay tribute to her on this day dedicated to demons and excess? What you’ll need: a cerulean power suit, a perfectly coiffed Dutch Boy wig (or just blow up the image to the left, add a couple of holes and a string and call it a day). To complete the illusion, scream out phrases like “Damn it! We're Republican!”; “Answer the question, trick or treat, damn it!” and “Damn it! I said Crunch Bar!” intermittently.


And there you have it. Did we miss anything? Who or what will you be dressing up as this Halloween?


Featured image via. Chile hat via. Wax lips via. Bear costume via. Balloon costume via

 

 
10.31.2012 at 01:23 | Reply |

Wow, this was dumb.

 

11.01.2012 at 05:20

Thanks, "Santa Maria"! That's exactly what I was shooting for.

 

 
 
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