No thank you, Mr. Roboto.
By the time you read this,
The Incredibles
will be available to own on DVD. Parents and kids alike will rejoice in multiple viewings of the Incredible clan as they battle evildoers and previous sales records. Despite being released amid a cross-marketing blitzkrieg that included toys, clothes, fast-food meals and breakfast cereals,
The Incredibles
has one
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thing many of today's computer animated films do not-heart.
Robots
, the latest from
Ice Age
creators Chris Wedge and Carlos Saldanha, comes to us with the same promotional saturation and has likewise been hailed as a treat for both young and old, but
unlike
The Incredibles
,
Ice Age
assumes a stock message ("never give up") that its own creators apparently ignored when writing the script, resulting in one of the most lifeless animated films ever made.
Robots
tells the story of young Rodney Copperbottom (Ewan McGregor), a young inventor from Rivet Town. Rodney heads to Robot City to meet Big Weld (Mel Brooks), a Willy Wonka-like inventor whose company has been taken over by corporate goon Ratchet (Greg Kinnear) and his evil mother Madame Gasket (Jim Broadbent). Together, mother and son seek to eliminate "outmodes," robots past their prime, from Robot City by ceasing production of spare parts and pushing a line of high-priced upgrades. Those unable to afford the upgrades get chopped up for scrap metal and thrown into a giant furnace. Rodney and his rag-tag group of friends must save the day.
Unfortunately, more than the day needs saving. Even Robin Williams' performance sounds pieced together from unfunny outtakes, a caffeinated mish-mash of bad impressions and free associations that are simply annoying.
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Aunt Fanny (
Best in Show
's Jennifer Coolidge), a fat-bottomed robot who makes Big Weld's rocking world go 'round, elicits the film's biggest laughs, though they're hardly more than robot fart jokes that are, frankly, more disturbing than funny.
Music courtesy of artists like Fountains of Wayne, Tom Waits and Chingy move things along when the non-story begins to drag, offering the filmmakers a chance to show off their animation chops and offer up a few cheap sight gags.
Simultaneously released in IMAX theaters, where the look-what-we-can-do animation can really shine, the film trades actual story for a digital world that, while impressive, feels flaccid and dull-there's nothing at the center of the flashiness to make it whole. Kids, parents and adult fans of animation deserve better than this. Like
Oz
's Tin Man,
Robots
is a rigid piece of work with rusty characters, all in desperate need of some heart.
