SFR: Battered women's shelters around the state have been consistently full all year. Is that why the New Mexico Coalition against Domestic Violence will request more money from the state Legislature this session?
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AM:
When I started here six years ago, the Legislature had appropriated about $2.5 million. When you divide that among 40 programs it's not a lot of money. So every year I go for additional dollars. But what really prompted me to go for $3 million this year was the increase of services for victims and their children. We need the money to hire individual counselors for children and adults. We need to have money to transport victims to shelters that aren't full.
What other types of legislation are you working on?
None. It's a budget year, first of all, so we're focused on the money. And one of the things we're talking about as an organization is the need, if we're going to change laws, to have the money to implement them. Sometimes we've changed laws, but if you don't have the money to go train your judges, your law enforcement officials, they don't learn about them and the laws never get implemented. You can't do one without the other.
You're the executive director of this coalition, but how are you connected to this issue?
I love it when people ask me this question. I'm one of the directors that didn't come with any experience. My background is in accounting and I did not come from a world of violence. I've always worked for nonprofits because I love social issues! I got here because of my management skills.
So what kind of preparation did you do to get ready to take on this job?
It was overwhelming. When you get thrown into a job, you learn very quickly that the calls are coming through and you have to be there on the other end as an advocate. I had to learn very quickly what it was all about. I also went to every shelter in the state and I talked to victims and heard their stories. I wanted to know what was happening. I became very passionate about the cause. I care very much what happens to children. We really need to look at this issue through the eyes of a child.
Why have children become such a focus for your programming?
If we're going to reduce the impact of domestic violence in the state, we have to educate kids on the issue of domestic violence. It doesn't have to go from generation to generation. They can break the cycle. So they can say: 'This is a crime! I know where my mom can go to get help.' These kids are disclosing. We had a little girl in Las Cruces one year tell her mother, 'I know where we can be safe.' It's huge that a child can say that to her own mother.
So it's the idea that abusers come from abusive homes.
Exactly. And we kind of model our mothers. When you see your mother being abused you think that being controlled by jealousy, a man telling you how to dress and behave and who to talk to is OK. And when you begin to date, you think, 'He loves me-he's jealous, that's a good thing.'
Why do we have such appalling-and steadily increasing-domestic violence statistics in New Mexico?
People are always asking me if I think there's more crime and that's why we have more homicides and more battered women going to shelters. I attribute it to the media. It's picked up issues like ours and now victims have read about it and say, 'This is a crime and I can report it and I know where I can go.' So I think that's opened victims' eyes. And I think with the governor taking on the issue, I think that's brought on a different level of awareness. People are saying, it must be a crime if these famous people are taking it seriously.
But prominence in the media is not really eradicating the problem.
But there's more awareness; more people are reporting now. So the shelters are full. Why do we have high domestic violence statistics? Well, I think we're one of the poorest states in the country and we fall right there with domestic violence too. And I'm not saying that only poor people beat each other. But I do think that when you have a poor state, you have a lot of layers of social issues.
Can you elaborate on that idea?
When you're poor you don't have a job, so then you have depression, suicide, substance abuse. I think all those interface. And then domestic violence increases because of family pressures. It's not the cause, but it contributes. I really think domestic violence is the tree where all the other branches grow from. If we didn't have domestic violence there wouldn't be suicide, teenage pregnancy, gangs, substance abuse, dropout rates and all those other social ills. If you don't feel good about yourself from a young age, if you witness screaming and yelling at home, then you turn to gangs or self-medicate through drug use or get depressed and commit suicide.
There's an adage that the first step to ending domestic violence is getting the woman out of the situation. What are the subsequent steps?
Baby steps. After you get them to shelter, they need to realize that this is not OK. Then there's counseling. Services for their children. Sometimes medical and dental help. Legal. Financial management. We offer everything. You have to just start where she's at and go from there.
