***image1***A column for anyone with questions about love.
Do you have a burning question about love? Write to TheTaoofLove@aol.com.
Dear Duncan,
I have a buddy who recently hooked up with a little hotty. We've been like brothers for years and I should be happy for him. But his new girlfriend doesn't like his friends and she says that we are a bad influence and that our sense of humor is chauvinistic. So, now my buddy is blowing off all of his bros to keep his woman happy. I know that my friend is just thinking with his prick for the moment, so I feel inclined to forgive him. Hell, we all know that men will do stupid things for women, it's in our genes. Still, I think that men who treat their boys like this need to put things in perspective. What do you think of turncoat friends like that? Should we forgive him for being pussy-whipped and wait patiently until he gets tired of jumping through hoops for his latest piece of scrumpet? (After all, we have been friends since high school.) Or should we just cut our losses and write him off? We have our own opinions about the subject. Here are a few reasons why men should NEVER abandon their buddies for a woman… 1. If she really loved you she would want you to have a life and she wouldn't want to change you. 2. Who's gonna be there for you when you've just had a big blowout and you need some manly advice or perhaps a couch to crash on? YOUR BOYS, that's who! 3. Who has a seat at the table and beer in the fridge with your name on it when you need a little break from the domestic scene? YOUR BOYS, that's who! 4. Who's gonna pick your crying ass up off of the floor and take you out to a strip club when Ms. Perfect finally packs her bags and breaks your heart like all of the others? YOUR BOYS, that's who! 5. Who'll cover your ass and tell your girlfriend that you were "just holding" that quarter bag for us? YOUR BOYS, that's who! 6. Who's gonna invite you to parties and introduce you to fine young women when you finally wise up and quit playing house? YOUR BOYS, that's who! 7. Who truly understands you and won't make you dress in clothes that you don't like? Well, you get the idea… Always remember guys, bosses will fire you, women will disappoint you, businesses will fail, pharmacies will be out of crab ointment at the worst possible times and presidents will lie, BUT YOUR BOYS WILL ALWAYS HAVE A DICK JOKE HANDY TO MAKE YOU SMILE WHEN YOU'RE FEELING SHITTY! Never turn your back on your boys!
Sincerely, Band-of-Brothers
Go team! Boys rock! Woo-hoo! How's that for penis solidarity? That being said, you have a pretty depressing view of women and romantic relationships. It's possible your friend is getting more out of his relationship than just sex. It's also possible that his girlfriend won't break his heart. However, I agree that it's entirely wrong to ask your boyfriend/girlfriend to give up his/her friends (unless, of course, the friends are Dallas Cowboy fans or Nader supporters). By the way, what the hell is "scrumpet?" Is it like "strumpet," only different? Now, to answer your question: should you "write off" your friend? I hope that you don't. Around five years ago, I was "written off" by my friends and it was among the most difficult things I've ever experienced.
"[F]riendship is a kind of excellence, or goes along with excellence, and furthermore is very necessary for living. For no one would choose to live without friends, even if he had all the other good things…"
Aristotle,
The Nichomachean Ethics
No one would choose to live without friends. Choosing to live without your friends is a daily struggle. Forgive me if this sounds melodramatic, but the loss of my friends has made thoughts of suicide a familiar part of my life. Before you decide to bail on your friend, I hope you'll consider the possibility that your actions could have devastating consequences. Then again, who cares what happens to some unreliable, "turncoat" friend? Your boys, that's who.
