Practical spirituality for a complicated world. Dear Robert,
My ambition is to become a writer. I want to write fiction, especially stories set within historical events. I know that's not your subject matter, for I am a regular reader of your column. I enjoy your style. Do you have any advice for an aspiring writer? Now, I'll get to the main reason I'm writing you. I belong to an informal group who get together to discuss our own writing, books we all read together, and occasional current event topics. One member of our group is a man who thinks he is more talented than he actually is. I'll call him Roger, although that is not his name. Roger told another member of the group that I had criticized her writing behind her back. The things he told her I said were actually close to something that Roger, himself, said. Whenever Roger is around, there is turmoil. I would like to ask him to leave our group, but there is no organization, no leadership, since our group is so informal. Why does Roger cause so much trouble? They say there's always one in every crowd, but why does that have to be so? If he left, would there simply be another troublemaker to take his place? How would you suggest I deal with this situation?
Thank you,
HC, Santa Fe
Dear HC,
Thanks very much for your letter. I'm happy to give you some general information about writing. Perhaps it would be more appropriate to impart some of my own experience with writing. I have enjoyed writing for as long as I can remember. I've never studied writing, apart from the grammar or composition courses we all took in school. I write because it is something I really enjoy. Some of what I write is published in this column every week, however I write things that are not intended for publication. In fact, when many people say they want to be a writer, what they are actually saying is that they want to have their work published. Most writers never have their work published. However, nowadays, with the internet, with Kinko's, and laser jet printers, it is fairly easy to publish your work, if that's what you want. My advice would be to continue your writing without any expectation that it will be published. Strive to let your writing flow from your heart out through your pen or your keyboard. Put your spirit into it. Otherwise, it's all just a mechanical product that any computer could churn out all day long. Write because that is what you want to do; then, you're a writer no matter what others think.
Writing can be a challenging way to make a living. There are more dependable occupations if you have to pay the mortgage. I think that painters or sculptors, or artists of any type have similar experiences. Santa Fe is a major art center, yet being published or represented in galleries here is challenging, indeed. Even with all the galleries and publishers, there are very few spots available. On the bright side, somebody is going to make it, so why wouldn't it be you? The experience of having my work published has been mixed. My first published work in Santa Fe was in 1992. It was an article titled, "The Earth Really Is Our Mother." In 1994, I had my first book published by a major publisher, and released internationally. To say I was excited would be an understatement. I was dancing on air. I'll never forget going into Waldenbooks and seeing my book on the shelf next to Scott Peck. The sweet, lovely owner of the Old Santa Fe Trail Bookstore organized a reception and book signing for me. I shall always be grateful for her generosity. That was the fun part. The sad part was how many of my "friends" reacted to my good fortune. In the famous Santa Fe blasé style, most of them acted as if it were no big deal. Some were openly dismissive. One person walked into my first book signing and loudly proclaimed, "My God Robert, I can't believe how much weight you've gained." I allowed their boorish behavior to rob me of much of the joy and excitement I was feeling. The good news is that I learned not to do that any more. One day while driving along and listening to the radio, I heard a Rick Nelson song, "Garden Party." One of the lines really hit me between the eyes: "I learned my lesson well you see / you can't please everyone / so you've got to please yourself." Rick Nelson wrote that song from his own painful experience, and it certainly touched my heart that day. Rick Nelson never knew me, nor did he have any idea that those words he wrote would bless my life one day. This confirms that writing can be a powerful force, having an impact far beyond what might be imagined. Ask yourself if you want to be a writer, or if you want to be a published author. If you are published, it does bring attention to you. Some of that attention is not pleasant. Be careful what you wish for.
Now, let's talk about Roger. Keep away from him. Leave him alone. Don't confront him. To engage Roger only feeds his insecurity and fear. We all have Rogers to deal with at one time or another. Who knows why people behave poorly? Who knows why people carry tales, gossip or dismiss each other? There are as many reasons as there are people. We all make mistakes. We all, once in a while, gossip or unfairly criticize others. Anyone who says he doesn't is either a liar or delusional, or a delusional liar. The point is this: When we engage in behavior that fails to support who we are as men or women of power and servants of the Light, we need to stop, and pledge ourselves to a higher standard. There is a bit of Roger in all of us. As I see it, the challenge is to transform our inner Roger into a more loving, supportive energy. This is not necessarily the easy way, but in the long run it is the most loving and lasting.
Keep on with your writing. If your goal is to be a published author, then create affirmations, visualizations and actions to support that. Get clear about what you hope to gain from having your work published. If you're thin-skinned or have low self-esteem, then you'd better work on those issues before your work becomes published. There are lots and lots of critics out there, HC, along with many, many Rogers.
Thanks again for your letter.
Many blessings and wishes for all the best.
OM
To ask Robert a question, visit his Web site, RobertOdom.com, e-mail him at desertrj@msn.com , or write him at PO Box 33, Santa Fe, NM 87504.