Practical spirituality for a complicated world.
I've had several personal experiences lately, in which I had to deal with extremely unpleasant people. As I get older, and hopefully more mature with each passing year, I really do try to act, and react with kindness and compassion. On some occasions, I am more successful than at other times. It has become more important to me, to make sure that I'm not adding to the anger, hate or negativity on our planet. This is not because I'm St. Robert, but simply because I selfishly want to avoid as many karmic repercussions as possible. I know that what we put out comes back to us, sooner or later. I'll write a bit more about karma later on in the column.
I realize that there are occasions when we really need to cut to the chase, and simply tell an abusive person to pi*s off, without any type of sugar coating. Generally, I tend to try other courses of action before I resort to "pi*s off," or "go to hell." For example, in one of the unpleasant experiences I referred to above, I felt pushed into a corner. I finally had to tell a relative that I didn't care for her, even though I did love her because we were family. She was surprised that I had told her that, and then she surprised me by saying she felt the same way. She added that it was better if we maintained a "relationship from a distance," by speaking on the phone from time to time. I agreed, adding that I thought "from time to time" might be a little more often that I was in favor of.
There seems to be this idea that we ought to make all kinds of allowances for awful behavior, if that behavior comes from people to whom we're related, or in love with, or who have control over certain aspects of our lives. It may well be that circumstances sometimes force us to take our lumps quietly. But, we don't always have to do that, do we? Situations change, and life has a way of moving us out and away. However, karma has a way of bringing us an old, unresolved theme in a new package. We cannot escape our karmic history. We're going to confront our issues, and work through them, one way or another, at one time or another. If we don't "get it" in this present situation, then we're simply presented with it farther down the road, in a different set of circumstances; same lesson, different packaging. We're not being punished; we're being liberated. Karma is neither good nor bad. In fact, karma is compassionate, for it allows us infinite choice. There won't be eternal reward or eternal punishment according to the actions of one short lifetime. We have the entire Universe, with a limitless number of lifetimes at our disposal, to play, to learn, to explore, to goof off, to teach, or to playact to our heart's content. Karma is simply cause and effect, and as much a natural part of this world as gravity. There is nothing mysterious about karma. Although, it does seem that there comes a time when we tire of this merry-go-round, and want to get off the ride, as well as the entire playground. I think that when we reach that point, it is important to take advantage of it. That's why we're given gifts such as the Vedic literature, and spiritual teachers like Paramahansa Yogananda or the immortal Babaji of the Himalayas.
Even though some people describe me as "New Age" or "mystical" or whatever they might see when they look my way, I know that I have an aspect to my personality that is quite practical. I'm thinking, "Alright, sure there is karma, and compassion, and meditation, and all the other spiritual things I've found, but what is it all for, and what good is it in my everyday life?" Actually, I don't think we need to bother with all that stuff if it can't be of use, or if we're unable to incorporate it into our lives on a daily basis.
So, now we're back to the discussion of how to deal with unpleasant situations and awful people, in ways which honor who we are as Servants of the Light, and especially in ways that do not add to the anger and resentment already burdening our planet and our lives. How do we rid our lives of toxic influences, without reacting to the toxic persons with our own poisonous language or intent? Sorry, but this is a rhetorical question. I can't answer that for anyone else but myself. And, even then, there is only one answer that will be valid in every situation. It is this: I must trust my own inner guidance to let me know how to respond in each situation. I'm also happy to report that for the majority of time, I'm able to remember to ask for that guidance.
One of my most cherished illusions is that everyone wants to do the right thing, and if they are only informed, they will choose that which is best. This is a false idea, which, because of intense social conditioning, I've found very challenging to release. Since I'm a writer, I'm always looking for a way to point things out, hoping that I can phrase things in a way that will get through. This, however, is my own karmic theme. It is something I've grown to accept as being a perpetual challenge. My challenge is not to communicate a message, although it's always nice when that happens, but rather to keep remembering that I'm here to say what I need to say, whether anyone ever understands it or not. That's my karmic lesson for this lifetime, in a nutshell. I'm writing, and talking, and talking, and talking, because that's what I'm here for. Period. If someone likes it, or doesn't like it, that's really beside the point. If I say what I need to say, then it's "mission accomplished." For it to be otherwise, would be to leave my chances of success in the hands of others, who might or might not understand.
One final word about dealing with toxic people: I've learned that it's best to avoid them. If you can go the other way, do so, by all means. It does no good to argue with them. They're not interested in anything except spreading their poison. Don't let them infect you. Stay away from contact with them. Discover what your own karmic themes are, and have fun burning those out. Despite all the darkness and negativity swirling about, this is still a most beautiful world in which we live. There is joy to be found, and love to be shared, even in the midst of so much confusion. Be well. Have fun. OM Shanti OM
P. S. I want to calm the writer in last week's Letter to the Editor, who expressed his fear that because I mentioned parking at the PERA Building, then 'No Parking' signs would soon appear. Please do not be concerned. If that happened, Santa Feans wouldn't pay any more attention to them, than they do 'Stop' signs or 'Yield' signs.
To ask Robert a question, visit his website at www.RobertOdom.com, email desertrj@msn.com or send mail to PO Box 33, Santa Fe, NM 87504.
