Practical spirituality for a complicated world.
My column of May 18 was about the war on men and boys. I should have mentioned the book,
The War Against Boys
, by the feminist scholar Christina Hoff Sommers. She has documented her work impeccably. If you're interested in learning more, get her book. I should have also mentioned a local, Dr. Paul Golding, who does wonderful work in bringing attention to this topic, including a newsletter, Santa Fe Boys. He deserves all our gratitude.
I'm amazed by the high caliber of the people who write, saying they're regular readers of my column. It is so personally gratifying. I also hear from people who try to silence me through calling me a racist or sexist, or the vilest accusation they can think of, "You're just a man." Their standard operating procedure is character assassination. By the time you read this, there will have been letters to The Reporter from shrill harridans protesting my use of the term "shrill harridan". So be it. I'm not afraid of them, for they simply spit and sputter the same tired, predictable old rhetoric. Ironically, the week the column was published, a local domestic abuse prevention advocate was arrested for allegedly punching her husband in the face. When do you think they'll start a "Stop Violence Against Men" campaign? I rest my case.
Let's review some of the sane correspondence regarding my recent column about the war on men and boys. PW wrote, "I wanted to commend you on your column in the May 18th Reporter. Your commentary reflects what I have felt and expressed (not without retaliation, mind you) for the last 20 years. Thanks for presenting this overlooked viewpoint to the public." Well, PW, you're welcome. I appreciate your support. KC wrote, "A quick note to thank you for the (column)...it was really well done…important topic, good execution…you made persuasive, sobering points…it has some 'balls' to it, and yet it didn't sound angry in a way that would have reduced your presence to the same consciousness that you were describing…you are getting away with writing about this stuff…my guess is that this means society is already beginning to wind down on this phase, that people are slowly starting to 'get it' that ideology is neurotic and that such people are tripping…they had a nice run of nearly 30 years, but with the help of work like yours, that era will be ending!" Dear KC, Thanks a lot for your letter. You mentioned that I've got away with writing about some of these controversial topics. That, in itself, is truly a miracle; however their 30 year run of power isn't nearly over. If you could see some of the vicious mail I received from radical feminists, you'd be shocked at how filled with hate and violence it was. Some of it was so threatening that it caused me concern for the safety of my family. It was the same dark spirit as the hate-filled rhetoric of the radical right religious nuts who recently came to Santa Fe to protest our community's openness to equality for gays.
On another note, MV wrote, "I enjoyed reading your article about boys in the Reporter. As a mother of two boys, it has been my greatest joy raising these boys to become men…I consider it an honor to see my boys grow up to be strong, confident men who understand the role they play in a society that degrades men in general...they are respectful of elders, display gracious manners, and actually know how to shake hands like a man should-strong and firm…I advise my sons that a man sometimes bears more injustice and responsibility for other's actions than what is truly fair…but, as most men realize, it's not how you are treated in life that makes you what you are-it's how you choose to live your life that determines who you are…thank you for extending a voice to the boys in our community." Dear MV, I really appreciate hearing from you. I value your insight into this problem both as a woman and as a mother. Your sons are indeed blessed to have you as a guide and a champion. My parents were not especially warm people, but they did teach me how to be a man, and how to conduct myself as a gentleman. I thank them for that gift. They also taught me how to sit at a table and eat like a civilized person. I was taught the proper use of a knife and fork. We didn't live a pretentious lifestyle, but we lived a gracious life (emotionally cold, but gracious!). At the time, I probably didn't appreciate it. Today, I do more and more. When I see people bent over the table, using forks like shovels, eating like hogs at the feed trough, I'm grateful that I was taught a different way. MV, thanks for your wonderful letter. You have my sincere appreciation for your success at mothering. The community benefits from your concern.
Finally, WP wrote, "Over time, I have come to look forward to your column each week…I have found your advice to be appropriate, insightful, and from a positive perspective…I would venture to attribute the poignancy of your column overall to be the inevitable result of the centeredness that one can achieve through living a thoughtful and deliberate life…in the last few weeks of your column, your language seems to me to have railed against some of the evils in the world…(it) is so important for people to understand and not to ignore what is happening around them…however the language you have used lately has suggested to me that perhaps some of these atrocities are frustrating enough to have shaken your positive perspective for the moment…we must somehow observe these happenings from a place of peace, and try not to let them shake us from that center." Dear WP, thanks so much for your comments. It was very kind of you to say so many nice things about my column. I also appreciate the gentle way in which you expressed your concern for my welfare.
People have various ideas of what peace is and what peace looks like. These ideas are usually thought forms which may, or may not bear any resemblance to actual peace. One of the most important knowings to come to me on my spiritual path is that in order to be centered and at peace, I must embrace my humanity. In order to project peace outwardly, I must have inner peace. Peace doesn't imply passivity. Through embracing my humanity, I've come to see that feeling anger can be a constructive, as well as instructive part of being human. There are certain issues about which it is appropriate for us to feel anger. The recent fascist coup d'etat is one of those things. Sending young men to their deaths, or poisoning the planet with depleted uranium in immoral invasions of foreign countries, and causing the deaths of innocent foreigners… these are things about which it is appropriate to feel anger. I have embraced my anger, and I've made it my friend. I'm at peace with my anger, for it is part of my humanness. We cannot embrace our divinity until we've embraced our humanity. Don't be afraid of anger, WP. Learn to wield your anger with spiritual vision, and you enter more profoundly into your humanity. It need not shake you from your spiritual center. The challenge is to express our anger as spiritual beings of power, in ways which are open ended, allowing for spiritual growth and change. We then move through the experience, out into the Light. Dear WP, thanks for your concern, however, I am happy to assure you that I am comfortably ensconced in my spiritual centre, in my personal place of peace. But, just in case, you keep an eye on me, okay?
OM
To ask Robert a question, visit his Web site at www.RobertOdom.com, email desertrj@msn.com or send mail to PO Box 33, Santa Fe, NM 87504.
