Courtesy Animal Pictures
Crush is as bland as its title promises, and any film that uses voice-over as a tool for set-up and promptly forgets about it automatically loses points. Hey, filmmakers? Do not do this. There’s a strong chance you don’t need it, promise, and having confidence in your scripts (as Crush so evidently does not have) means you’re already halfway there. Voice-overs that explain the obvious only betray that your concept is more than a little shaky. OK. Rant over.
In Crush, Paige (Girl Meets World’s Rowan Blanchard) is more than a little artsy, so when a series of unapproved murals appear on her school campus, everyone agrees it’s her—but of course, it’s not. As punishment for her assumed crime, Paige is forced onto the school’s track team for...some reason. It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, but it does present a prime opportunity to pursue her crush, Gabriela (Isabella Ferreira of Love Victor), only to find herself falling for Gabriela’s sister, AJ (Moana’s Auli’i Cravalho).
Director and College Humor alum Sammi Cohen doesn’t quite seem to understand it’s hackneyed to present a queer film that uses so many lines to reflect how queer it is. Man, do these characters banter. You can’t get through a scene without a minute-long back-and-forth about something meaningless. When it’s not overwhelmed by banter, the dialogue in Crush feels drier than a camel’s hoof. A skilled director can turn the worst script into a passable film, but the direction here is emotionless. Blocking, an oft-forgotten key to decent direction, doesn’t appear to be on Cohen’s radar, and all the actors stand uncomfortably like someone’s going to throw the script at their heads if they dare make a choice. Giving your actors something to do isn’t a brave act.
Nothing in Crush is necessarily bad, but it teeters on the edge of mediocrity. It isn’t funny despite how hard it’s trying to be, and like just about any old Disney Channel movie, it’s cheaply made while coasting on its subject matter. But hey, YA-queer films are almost always good news, especially so younger viewers don’t feel isolated in their media. Crush gets points there, and perhaps there’s an audience who might find the banter enjoyable. Perhaps.
5
+ Normalizes queer relationships
- Unfunny; cast lacks chemistry
Crush
Directed by Cohen
With Blanchard, Ferreira and Cravalho
Hulu, NR, 92 min.
