Daniel Quat
Trans author and performer Quinn Alexander Fontaine sat down with us last October to discuss his life and the August 2017 release of his book, Hung Like a Seahorse. It was an honest discussion about Fontaine's early days growing up queer in the South, grappling with depression, sexual abuse and addiction and, in the end, of transition and becoming who he truly is. Fontaine, who has recently been crowned Pride King for Santa Fe's upcoming 2018 Pride festivities in June, reads from Seahorse at op.cit. Books this Saturday (2 pm. Free. DeVargas Center, 157 Paseo de Peralta, 428-0321).
The book's been out awhile now; how's the reception been?
It's been phenomenal. It's been incredibly surprising. All kinds of demographics are responding and saying that it's a story for everybody, not just for trans people or people who know trans people; or people in recovery or people who know people in recovery. It's about the human condition. Readings have been great, and kids have been showing up, too. I had an 11-year-old. I've had [ages] 11 up to 85. Collected Works [Bookstore and Coffee House] said it was the most full house they ever had. I'm feeling incredibly open and hopeful.
Hung Like a Seahorse is a really open and honest work. Has that been challenging? Are you still learning a thing or two from being so vulnerable?
It continues to surprise me that I'm comfortable in my story, that I'm not stuck in the idea of my story. I was a trauma survivor, now I'm a thriver. It continues to amaze me that I'm able to openly talk about my life and my body, even my genitals, when my body and my life were my prison for so long. It's been incredibly freeing, but it still catches me by surprise that there's no shame attack attached to my being. I'm in alignment for the first time. Things make more sense than they've ever made.
What do you consider the most important thing you've learned from this process?
For years I didn't want to be on the planet. I've dealt with suicidal ideation my whole life, and I now know there are reasons I didn't die. I'm here to live, I'm here to gently lead others. My message is that it's never too late to live your authentic self, and I didn't feel that for years. I do my work through my art and connecting soul to soul. I'm learning to just be with everything and trust it and to let the emotions flow. I really feel like more than ever I'm spiritually connected to something bigger than me. It's humbling. It's sacred. It's beautiful.
