US Dept. of Justice announces formal investigation of Albuquerque police shootings. ---
1 US Dept. of Justice announces formal investigation of Albuquerque police shootings.
APD: killing civilians to put New Mexico on the map!
2 Portales peanut butter plant suspended after Salmonella outbreak.
Try saying that five times fast.
3 Sheriff’s office looking for $75K, 10-foot-long Navajo wall rug that “disappeared” from Bishop’s Lodge Resort.
Little-known truth: The bigger the rug, the faster it can vanish into thin air.
4 Kiwanis Club mulls moving Zozobra burning to Friday.
Anti-beer lobby proposes Dry Fridays—just in case.
5 After high-speed chase, man crashes truck into front gate of Jackalope.
But fails to destroy any giant, tacky flowerpots.
6 Vacancies open at NM governor’s office.
Locals need not apply.
7 Meow Wolf forms PAC to advocate for legal pot.
We feel like there’s a joke about how fitting that is, but we totally forgot what it was, and anyway we’re really hungry for Doritos.
