7 Days

01.22.14

1

PROPOSED HORSE SLAUGHTER PLANT BLOCKED BY FEDERAL LAW Thank you US Senate and the House of Representatives for the neigh vote. 2

NM RANKS NO. 27 ON GLOBAL MARKETING FIRM'S MOST MILLIONAIRES PER CAPITA LIST Forrest Fenn promises we'll break top 10 once his treasure is unearthed.

3

ON THE FLIP SIDE, WE'RE NO. 1 IN A REPORT PUBLISHED IN THE WASHINGTON POST! Oh, never mind, it's for stagnant population growth (insert Debbie Downer trombone here).

4

COMEDIAN AZIZ ANSARI CANCELS SANTA FE APPEARANCE A moment of silence for all the new food nicknames lost. 5

POLITICAL COMMITTEE PUSHING FOR A FULL-TIME MAYOR AIMS "TO SECURE A BETTER FUTURE FOR ALL SANTA FEANS" Grassroots campaigns, "Horse meat for all" and "New Mexicans for better spots on lists" follow.

6

MAISIE WILLIAMS APPEARANCE AT THE JEAN COCTEAU CINEMA DRAWS RECORD CROWD There's only one way you can top this, George: live dragons. 7

LOCAL RESIDENT JENNIFER MCCARTHY ACCUSED OF WHIPPING OUT GUN FROM HER PRIVATES AND ASSAULTING BOYFRIEND AFTER ARGUING OVER SPACE ALIENS

Or as we call it here at SFR, Friday.