1
POLICE SAY PROPERTY CRIME IS AT RECORD LOW
We all hocked our stuff to pay rent this month. Nothing left to steal.
2
DRURY HOTEL OPENS IN OLD DOWNTOWN HOSPITAL
"I was born there," is now replaced by, "That's where my parents spent their honeymoon."
3
SCHOOL KIDS RETURN TO CLASS
This morning commute slowdown brought to you by the fine folks at SFPS.
4
RIO ARRIBA COUNTY SHERIFF JAILED
"Free Tommy Rodella" bumper stickers are not selling well.
5
HANNA SKANDERA ADMITS PED SCREWED UP TEACHER EVALS
Local superintendent Joel Boyd threw his back out doing a happy dance.
6
TOMMY LEE JONES IS COMING TO SF INDEPENDENT FILM FESTIVAL
Please, please, let this not be an announcement for Men In Black IV.
7
NM SHOWS SLIGHT JOB GROWTH
That fixes this food stamp problem, right governor?
