1
COUNTY GETS NEW VOTING MACHINES
Printers produce both ballots and Powerball tickets.
2
DUNKIN' DONUTS CLOSED FOR REMODEL
Keeping up with the Krispy Kreme Joneses.
3
CITY CONSIDERS SPEED-VAN REVIVAL
This could be the last chance for those school-zone drag races.
4
MAMA BEAR AND CUB TRANQUILIZED IN SF, SENT TO GILA
There goes our sanctuary city status.
5
NM WOMAN TESTED FOR EBOLA DOESN'T HAVE IT
Yet West Nile Virus is staging another comeback.
6
MAYOR ANNOUNCES TASK FORCES ON CHILDREN AND CLIMATE CHANGE
Also launches Kickstarter campaign for preschool and recycling.
7
FEDS WANT LANL TO MAKE NUCLEAR WEAPONS TRIGGERS
Because the lab did such a good job cleaning up last time.
