1
STATE ACCIDENTALLY GAVE $40K TO THE WRONG FILM FESTIVAL LAST YEAR
A good argument for maybe coming up with a name that's different than the competition.
2
LAS VEGAS MAN ARRESTED FOR CANDY STORE HEIST
And that's why they call him the leader of the pack (vroom! vroom!).
3
SFPD TO RECEIVE ADDITIONAL MARIJUANA CITATION TRAINING
Because "lowest law enforcement priority" is too hard to understand.
4
FLORENCE HENDERSON DEAD AT 82
This year just keeps on taking and taking!
5
FIDEL CASTRO ALSO DEAD AT 90
We're more partial to Mrs. Brady since she wasn't, like, imprisoning gay people or anything.
6
THIS JUST IN: MANNEQUIN CHALLENGE ISN'T ACTUALLY ANYTHING
But way to stand perfectly still, everyone—you're really doing important work.
7
SNOW ACCUMULATES ON CITY STREETS FOR FIRST TIME THIS WINTER
Santa Feans can't decide whether to drive 18 or 81 mph.
