1
GEORGE ORWELL'S 1984 TOPS AMAZON'S BESTSELLERS LIST
This just in: US Ministry of Hate to replace Homeland Security.
2
THOUSANDS FLOCK TO AIRPORTS TO PROTEST TRUMP BAN ON US TRAVEL FOR REFUGEE AND MUSLIMS
Tears permanently engraved on the Statue of Liberty.
3
TRUMP FIRES ATTORNEY GENERAL...
Does he realize this isn’t The Apprentice ?
4
...AND NAMES WHITE NATIONALIST STEVE BANNON TO THE NATIONAL SECURITY COUNCIL
Just. Fuck that guy.
5
OPRAH TO JOIN 60 MINUTES AS COMMENTATOR
Oh O, America needs you now more than ever.
6
JAMBO IS EXPANDING TO ALBUQUERQUE
This goat stew brought to you by sane immigration policies.
7
MEOW WOLF SET TO REOPEN
Because when you're feeling totally bummed about the future of the free world, the laser harp will help.
