1
NASA SAYS SATURN MOON MAY HAVE CONDITIONS FOR LIFE
That's great news, since apparently we are going to bomb this planet to smithereens.
2
LEGISLATORS TO SUE GOVERNOR OVER VETOES
On the count of three, let's all litigate!
3
CAPITAL CITY CAB CLOSES
A setback for our plan to become a sorta city-like city one day.
4
MAYOR, COUNCILORS WALK OUT RATHER THAN LISTEN TO CONSTITUENT RANT
Imagine how we feel during your speeches, guys.
5
SCHOOL DISTRICT PUTS NAVA AND EJ MARTINEZ ON THE CHOPPING BLOCK
Ask the Capshaw parents how well this protest is going to turn out.
6
SFUAD ANNOUNCES CLOSURE NEXT YEAR
The only silver lining is that we can stop trying to pronounce that acronym as a word.
7
GOV. MARTINEZ SOFTENS HER VETO OF MONEY FOR ALL OF THE STATE'S UNIVERSITIES
An actual quote from Tuesday's press conference:
