1
BEST SNOW STORM OF THE SEASON
And another Saturday where putting on pants seemed like too big of a chore.
2
SUGARY DRINK TAX VOTE IS OVER
Maybe we can all try to be a little less venomous now?
3
BARRACKS NEAR SFUAD BURN
It was still better than Ja Rule's Fyre Fest.
4
ELDORADO TEACHER TO APPEAR ON JEOPARDY!
We'll take "Slow News Days" for $500, Alex.
5
TRUMP NAMES MAY 1 "LOYALTY DAY"
What happy horseshit is this?!
6
MAY 4 STILL "HILARIOUSLY" KNOWN AS STAR WARS DAY
This is why nobody likes nerds.
7
FOLLOWING in DAD'S FOOTSTEPS, JEFF APODOCA ENTERS RACE FOR GUV
"Who?" asks confused populace.
