SANTA FE POLICE ANNOUNCE TRAFFIC BLITZ
Surprising the city’s taking enough time off from browbeating panhandlers to focus on texting drivers and such.
TITO’S TEXAS VODKA MAKERS WARN IT DOES NOT MAKE A GOOD HAND SANITIZER
But emergency nonperishable cocktail supply kits can be assembled using orange Crush soda and any brand of vodka.
CHEESEMONGER ANNOUNCES CLOSURE AT THE END OF THE MONTH
Sacre bleu! Here’s the real reason to stockpile.
COUNTY SHERIFF TO FOLLOW LAW
He meant the red-flag law, but we’re in favor of just, you know, all of them. Well, most of them, anyway. OK—some of them.
RELEASE OF BOND MOVIE DELAYED DUE TO PUBLIC HEALTH
We’re short of breath after seeing those new Daniel Craig pics in GQ.
GOVERNOR VETOES ROAD PROJECTS, CITES OIL REVENUE DECLINE
It’s almost as if no one saw that coming…
GAVIN CLARKSON CINCHES GOP NOMINATION FOR CD2
We just wanted to show you this unaltered image from his last campaign again:
