7 Days

04.15.20

  1. CITY CLOSES DROP-OFF RECYCLING SPOTS Now where are we supposed to rage break our bottles?
  2. SOME PILGRIMS DID THE CHIMAYO WALK ANYWAY Their boots were made for it, after all.
  3. MASKS STILL NOT POPULAR IN SANTA FE Do you jerks know how many “SMOOOOOKIN’!” jokes you’re leaving on the table?!.
  4. BERNIE STOPS CAMPAIGNING As Biden licks lips and thinks of how many women he can sniff once America reopens.
  5. MEOW WOLF LAYS OFF HALF ITS STAFF We’d make a joke, but we can’t remember if we signed an NDA at some point or not.
  6. FEDERAL STIMULUS CHECKS ARRIVE FOR SOME Have fun paying your rent and…oh, it’s gone already?
  7. SPRING SNOW! Happens every time, but the nonplussed Facebook posts dropped with the same intensity and volume as the flakes themselves.