artdirector@sfreporter.com
1. ANCIENT STONE IN JAPAN SAID TO CONTAIN SPIRIT OF DEMON MYSTERIOUSLY SPLITS IN HALF
At any other point in history, this might be alarming. In 2022 it’s more like, “Add it to the pile, brah.”
2. HYDROGEN AIRCRAFT PLANT COMING TO ALBUQUERQUE
Governor rejoices; legislators, residents cringe.
3. MAN DENIED FREE COFFEE AT PASQUAL’S REPORTEDLY FLASHES GUN
It’s ok if we offer a gentle reminder that there may be too many guns in our society, yes?
4. AMERICA DIVIDED ON NEW BATMAN MOVIE
You’d think we’ve all come far enough to turn on a billionaire who beats up drug dealers instead of paying proper taxes, but Pattinson is just so dreamy.
5. GIRL SCOUTS ANNOUNCE EXTENSION OF COOKIE SEASON
Some of the best public health news we’ve ever heard.
6. ANNUAL ARGUMENTS REVIVE WITH DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME
There is, however, bipartisan and bicameral agreement on cookie time.
7. ELON MUSK CHALLENGES VLADIMIR PUTIN IN SINGLE COMBAT
Yeah, the spaceship guy. No, not the penis one—the other spaceship guy.
