artdirector@sfreporter.com
1. INDIANA’S REP. ANDRÉ CARSON SAYS “UNIDENTIFIED AERIAL PHENOMENA ARE A POTENTIAL NATIONAL SECURITY THREAT,” AT US HOUSE HEARING
We trust Fox Mulder has already been informed?
2. CITY SAYS POTENTIAL DOG PARK LAND DONATION NEEDS WORK BEFORE IT CAN BE ACCEPTED
“But my babies!” shriek THOSE kind of people.
3. RAIN FALLS ON THE PART OF THE HERMITS PEAK/CALF CANYON FIRE
More please, everywhere.
4. ARRESTS MADE IN SPATE OF CATALYTIC CONVERTER THEFTS
Flux capacitors appear to be safe for now.
5. ELON MUSK MIGHT NOT BUY TWITTER AFTER ALL
Sure is fun to watch such a gazillionaire manipulate the market, though, huh?
6. MEOW WOLF ANNOUNCES EXPANSION INTO HOUSTON, DALLAS AREAS
Sounds about right for everyone’s favorite upstart local arts collective.
7. SNL MOCKS HEARD/DEPP TRIAL
Plumbing domestic abuse for yuks seems less than ideal.
