artdirector@sfreporter.com
1. RONCHETTI SAYS HE NEVER CALLED TRUMP “STUPIDEST MAN ALIVE,” AS ALLEGED BY OPPONENT
But...Nah, no punchline needed here.
2. HERMITS PEAK/CALF CANYON FIRE 50% CONTAINED AS OF THIS WRITING
Heck, it’ll probably be more by the time you read this, and that’s the best news we’ve heard since the legal weed thing.
3. NEW APARTMENT COMPLEX IN THE BACA STREET AREA NEARING COMPLETION
And not only will you likely be unable to afford it, it’ll probably fill up in, like, 20 minutes.
4. JUSTICE DEPARTMENT INVESTIGATING COP RESPONSE TO UVALDE SHOOTING
Y’know—because they stood around outside threatening parents with stun guns instead of doing cop stuff.
5. NRA CONVENTION DID NOT ALLOW GUNS
Probably because nobody wanted to get shot.
6. TRAVEL LEMMING ONLINE GUIDE CALLS MEOW WOLF ONE OF THE BEST THINGS TO DO THIS SUMMER
Clearly they haven’t heard about mixing vodka into an Otter Pop and lying back in a wading pool on your front lawn.
7. EVACUATED MORA HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS DO PROM AT GOVERNOR’S MANSION
Which sounds decidedly better than our prom, which was just in a gym someplace.
