1. WE (HOPEFULLY) HAVE A NEW PRESIDENT AS OF TODAY
We wrote this joke before the results came out, but if it’s Trump just let us say that this stinks!
2. VOTER ANXIETY THIS YEAR WAS REPORTEDLY HIGH
Maybe because our main choices were a dangerous asshole manchild and the mega-cop?
3. MORE THAN 600,000 NEW MEXICANS VOTED EARLY
Which does not track with what we know of the land of mañana even at all.
4. TIME CHANGE BROUGHT SNOW ALONG WITH IT
Just so you’d be completely depressed by 4 pm darkness and the madness of a presidential election.
5. QUINCY JONES DIES AT 91
Rest in power, you absolute legend.
6. BIDEN DECLARES MAJOR DISASTER AREA IN CHAVES COUNTY AFTER FLOODING
Oh, dang, we forgot that dude was still around
7. SFR STAFFERS WORKED LATE LAST NIGHT
So everybody just be cool for one freaking second!!
