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Eavesdropper
Every week, SFR includes tidbits of community-submitted and mostly unattributed conversation. Usually intended to inject levity, sometimes they’re also telling about the season’s vibe. Send yours early and often to eavesdropper@sfreporter.com
Jan. 13
“They should replace it with a statue of a sopaipilla.”
—Overheard on a hiking trail
Jan. 20
“I think I will always wear a mask. It takes 20 years off my face.”
—Overheard at Double Take
Feb. 3
“My friend loaned this basket to me after complaining that my background was too austere.”
—Overheard during a webinar
Feb. 10
“Just cause you’re in the ice cream aisle doesn’t mean you have to buy ice cream.”
—Woman in ice cream/checkout aisle at Whole Foods, speaking to herself
“It makes me feel so good to be the first one to touch things at the supermarket.”
—Overheard in South Capital
March 31
“I feel like a game piece.”
—Overheard from a woman in line for a vaccine at Desert Sage Academy as she moved to the next floor mark
Woman 1: “I recognize you! Did your kids go to Gentle Nudge?”
Woman 2: “Yes! In the early ‘90s! Where are your kids now?”
Woman 1: “Well, my daughter is attending university in New York City, and my son is serving 12 years in Pittsburgh.”
Woman 2: “Aww, sweet! Well, see you later then!”
—Overheard in Totemoff’s bathroom at the ski area
April 21
“So, why did they put all those logs on the ceiling?”
— Overheard from out-of-town visitor to real estate agent
May 12
“With no bartender at home, who’s supposed to cut me off?”
—Overheard by a fellow blood donor on Rodeo Road
May 26
Tech: “Did you drink a lot of water today?”
Man: “No, I don’t like water. I think it’s because I’m a Sagittarius.”
—Overheard at CVS vaccine event
“It’s crazy what these guys like Galisteo could figure out even before computers.”
—Overheard near Owl Liquors as the International Space Station passed overhead
June 16
Child to adult: “You just go ahead and make me!”
—Overheard at Walmart, on repeat, past his bedtime
July 7
Friend 1: “I’d rather sit alone and write poetry than find the wrong man.
Friend2: “What about a cat?”
—Overheard at a café
July 21
Small child to barista: “Have you ever made chocolate milk?”
—Overheard at Java Joe’s
August 18
“I had a hard time figuring out if you were Australian or British from Instagram.”
—Overheard at Iconik
August 25
“So when you say you live in a casita...that’s like a little house?”
—Overheard at Marisco’s on Cordova
September 22
“Jesus must be mad at me, but I keep praying every day.”
—Overheard at a doctor’s office
September 29
“Sorry. I thought I knew you. The top half of your face looked familiar.”
—Man to masked woman at Cowgirl BBQ
October 13
“Can we do something a little less pagan for Halloween this year, Mom?”
—Overheard from little girl picking vegetables
October 20
Customer: “I’m still scared of running out of toilet paper.”
Clerk: “That’s because of the media.”
—Overheard at at Walgreens
November 3
“Hey! How is your daughter?”
“She’s 17. She’s a pain in the ass.”
—Overheard between two men in line at O’Hori’s on Pen Road
November 24
“I’m here but I’ve lost you.”
—Overheard from woman walking in parking lot with cell phone to ear
December 1
“I need to talk to her about how many cats is too many cats but I don’t know how to bring it up.”
—Overheard at John Griego Vietnam Veterans Park
December 15
“I don’t know if it’s eight hours worth of interesting.”
—Overheard at Kitchenailty as two women discussed the new Beatles documentary
