“So I said, ‘I’m sorry I left that on the counter, it’s Leo’s poop. I was going to put it in the fridge until I could take it to the doctor, but I forgot. Can you check it and see if it’s gone bad?’ His response was: ‘Are you kidding me? It’s shit! Does shit go bad?’”
—Woman telling story to friends at the Cowgirl
“My wife and I are such philanthropists; we work our asses off fundraising for a huge annual event for all the kids who can’t afford to go to school there and probably shouldn’t be going to school there to begin with.”
—Man on cell phone at Tart’s Treats
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