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All is not well in the House of Fork.
We’ve a sick beast at home, a beloved cat for whom we’d die were she to ask. And someplace within the labyrinth of lesser vets, lacking emergency care and the weird way the hazy clouds hang low in the sky creating a sort of warmth trap that just plum doesn’t feel good, we’re low. Like, real low. Dear readers, we’re so low—so far down—that we’d have to get a ladder to read “Suck it, Fork!” on the bottoms of our less enthused readers’ shoes. How ever shall we cope?
Short answer? We don’t know yet. Long answer? We’ve been researching mood-boosting foods. The idea came from a different idea we’d been entertaining about how to show up food-wise for the grief-stricken. We’ll get to that, too, probably, but we’re trying to be proactive here. Because it’s easy to feel low right now. Like, we all just did that COVID thing, but...we know, we know, we’re all sick of hearing and talking about it, but fact is, we went through this thing and have since decided as a society to just go right on back to the old ways, and some days it just hits harder than others, especially when your cat’s sick. We wonder aloud, what was it all for? What’s any of it for? Frank Herbert got it wrong—hopelessness is the mind killer. So let’s eat (or not eat) about it?
Carbs, it turns out, can help. Our research led us to toast and/or English muffin with a little bit of jam or honey on either. We have preferred peanut butter on our English muffins, frankly, but something about the combination of carbs and natural sweetness (rather than fats or proteins, like those for which peanut butter is more well-known) can create a tryptophan release in your brain. That one, over time, turns to serotonin, which makes you feel good. Or better. Or maybe it just makes you feel something. Whatever is supposed to happen happens fast with this snack, we believe. Try it.
It can help to change up your meal sizes, too. We all like a big dinner (disclaimer: we understand some of you don’t like doing that, no need to “actually...” us to death in the emails), but those feeling bummed might want to try titrating down meal sizes throughout the day. We’re not into breakfast, but we understand that it can elevate one’s mood throughout the day by starting big in the morning, a little smaller for lunch and then somewhere in the neighborhood of 500 calories for dinner. We know that’s easier said than done, we’re just saying.
You might wanna eat more fish, too, if you eat fish. Blah blah blah, omega-3 fatty acids in fish like salmon and tuna can help with your sadsies, and also they taste pretty good. Now that we think about it, though, the last time we went nuts on a piece of salmon, we did feel better than before we’d gone nuts on a piece of salmon.
In less thrilling news, cutting our caffeine and alcohol can reportedly help. The caffeine thing is straight-up just not happening for your old pal, The Fork, but you should know these things affect your moods for realsies. Of course you knew that (and have maybe even heard that caffeine has positive effects when it comes to things like staving off Alzheimer’s—though that research is spotty and perhaps a case of over-zealous media simplifying truths for cool headlines). One thing we know for sure is that you’ll only feel better if you don’t drink coffee and booze, though it might take getting used to and no one is here to tell you how to live so much as give you something to ponder. Speaking of pondering, some of our research suggested coffee actually helps people feel better, so now we don’t know what to think.
We’re happy to report, however, that some foods that make you feel more chipper can go together quite well. Oatmeal, berries, dark chocolate and bananas, for example, can all make people feel a bit more chuffed about existence—don’t you think putting all those things together sounds good? A little whipped cream on top? We want it. “We don’t put whipped cream on oatmeal at my house, The Fork,” someone is tempted to write. Just don’t do that last part, then, God!
And speaking of not doing things, here’s the big one: Sugar. We’re struggling with our own cravings for something super-sweet just now, which we’ve learned is not so much an us thing as it is a Gary Oldman-level EVVVVERRRYONNNNNNNEEEAAAAAH!!!! thing, but it’s never ever ever gonna make things better. Or maybe we should say it’ll make things better, but only briefly. Oh, sure, you’ll get that sugar rush and think everything’s better. Then you’ll crash, duh, and feel kind of worse. Then way worse. You’ll try to nap it off, but that’ll just confuse you. Can you win? Yes. “Moderation in all things” might be a tired axiom at this point, but it’s true as heck. Just...the things we eat and drink are such a bigger deal for moods than we tend to think. And we know everyone is busy. Just take the eight minutes to toast an English muffin and drizzle some honey on there. We’re going to get through this. We’re going to be OK. And that includes you, dear readers.
We dedicate this jam to the promises sugar made to us. They were lies!
Snack Corner
Le Forkette (who hates being called “La,” just for the record) brought home a pretty cool snack recently after we were waxing poetic about those big tubs of cheeseballs one recent night. Lesser Evil (that’s the brand) Interstellar Cheddar Space Balls (that’s the product name) are a healthier version of those cheesiest of puffy balls, by which we mean they’re organic, non-dairy and made with avocado oil. We were skeptical, but having utterly HOUSED a bag overnight (is that why we’re depressed?) we can say they’re super good. Find out more here and know they’ve available at Santa Fe’s La Montañita Food Co-op (at least that’s what Le Forkette says).
Also
-Santa Fe-based comic book artist Ryan T. Cook has released his new tome, Gas Station Food, an ode to the culinary action of gas stations around Northern New Mexico. Now, we’re linking to an Amazon page just so you can see what’s up with the book, but are also pointing out that it’s available locally at Big Adventure Comics. As for Cook, well, he tells SFR he’ll take any proceeds from the Big Adventure sales and give ‘em to Santa Fe-based org The Food Depot, which feeds hungry New Mexicans to the tune of millions of pounds of food per year.
-Did you know that local charcuterie company Picnic NM has expanded to become an admittedly small but powerful cheese shop inside the CHOMP food hall? Proprietor Lauren Stutzman is super-cool, too, and came up working for the sadly-shuttered Cheese Monger cheese shop that folks in Santa Fe wept over following its closing. In short, if you want crazy-good cheese, go over the CHOMP and get it going. The plates are gorge, too (which we realize could have connotations about gorging oneself, but we really mean it like the shortened version of “gorgeous,” which we’ve employed to be zippy).
-Peach Guy Matt (we don’t think that’s his legal name, but we do know he’s got the best peaches/other fruit around, at least according to our readers) is reportedly back for real now and slingin’ peaches in the parking lot of American Home Furnishing (that’s 901 St. Michael’s Drive). We don’t know hours, but we do know that people say he’s just out there pretty much if it’s daytime. Good luck!
The lyrics kind of make us think that Blue Bayou is a cool place? If so, why’s it help us relish our sadsies so hard?
SHOUT-OUT FROM A READER!
“Tesuque Village Market a nice patio?!! If you like a hoard of flies in your drink, shitty food, filthy tables and rude waiters. Definitely not what it used to be. Check out Next Door posts…over 80 locals totally trashed TVM.”
So says reader Jayne M. about last week’s Fork wherein we espoused the pleasantness of the patio at Tesuque Village Market. And though we don’t usually hang around on Nextdoor to see people wigged out about a car that drove along a street or a person with the audacity to exist in a hoodie, the to-go breakfast burrito we recently picked up from TVM at a local coffee shop tells us that maybe Jayne is right. Like, this thing had veggies inside that seemed like they’d never been cooked. And the egg ratio? Practically non-existent. We don’t know what’s up out there, but others reached out about it, too.That’s right, nerds—the shout-outs are a two-way street! That said, TVM still has the best key lime pie we’ve ever eaten.
More Tidbits
-Workers from Starbucks union Starbucks Workers United now say that a strike planned for Pride month was initiated after some stores banned LGBTQ+ ephemera following Target’s decision to limit its own queer products in the face of threats from chuds. All told, according to the union, the strike closed 21 stores in recent weeks and will reportedly disrupt operations at more than 150 stores in total. Nice! We love when workers stand up for themselves and we love when ‘phobes get got. In fact, if you’re reading this all bummed out that we’re pro-queer unions, maybe find another newsletter? Paula Deen likely has a pretty racist one you might like.
-Heads up that you can totally dine in a freaking cave for Vikings through Iceland’s Hotel Rangá. So, if you’re in Iceland—and assuming you’re not busy trying to find Björk to ask her the meaning of life—maybe try this? It’s a freaking three-course meal served on a freaking Viking longboat (or some kind of boat, anyway; it’s long).
-Oh, God, there’s another Sriracha shortage!?! What will we do without the semi-hot sauce? Prices are going up? Will we survive! We’ll be fine, probably. And y’know, we say this as fans of chile who’d probably flip if we couldn’t find some—but this ain’t chile, buds, and it’ll probably loop back around like last time.
-We love that we can share this information from The Weather Channel (because it’s not super weather-based): Lab-grown chicken has FDA approval, and you will likely see it soon. Now, we know some among you are like, “Gross! I’d never eat something processed like that!” To that we say that we don’t see a whole lot of difference between this and, like, most processed foods in America. Also, we’ve said it before and we’ll say it again—it is absolutely bizarre that we eat birds. We’ve done it and we might do it again, but it’s wild.
-That’s it for this week, or have you forgotten we’re super sad?
A Totally Scientific Breakdown of The Fork’s Correspondence
In the print edition of SFR this week, you shan’t find new food coverage, but we, being The Fork, will always be here for you. Unless we take a break.
Number of Letters Received
32
*People have strong patio feelings.
Most Helpful Tip of the Week (a barely edited letter from a reader)
“I hate sitting outside.”
*Do you feel good about that? Do you feel good taking the time to conceive, write and send that information?
Actually Helpful Tip(s)
“Just get drunk already!”
*OK, deal.
“Remember you don’t have to be outside on a patio to have a drink!”
*Dang, you’re right.
Cryyyyyyyyyyyin’ (like Roy Orbison),
The Fork
PS
