Rudi Riet via Wikimedia Commons
Our boss went out in the world looking for rice pudding recently and, to hear him tell it, it didn’t go particularly well. Good luck finding it around Santa Fe sans-coconut, we learned (we like coconut, no question, but it tends to make everything taste like coconut, and sometimes that’s not what you want), and, we hear, when he asked the internets, everyone was just like, “Go ahead and make it real quick, bro.”
And though he tells us he just wanted someone to hand him some ready-made rice pudding, he did have to make it himself, and that’s how we got a little taste. And you know what? It was not bad. And you know what else? It was not super hard. Oh, make no mistake—it’s a little bit of a time commitment if you want it to be just so, but sometimes, when you have a hankering, only the thing for which you are hankering will do.
There will be a recipe below, know that, but we also learned a few interesting things about rice pudding. Like how it exists in one form or another in most places around the globe. Or that the Buddha’s last meal before he became enlightened was apparently rice pudding. We learned that Winnie the Pooh scribe AA Milne was down with rice pudding, too, writing in his poem, Rice Pudding, of a woman named Mary Jane who simply won’t eat rice pudding—which is weird, because she doesn’t seem to have any problems or anything, she’s just not feeling it. Jeeze, Mary Jane.
Anyway, here’s how it goes with the rice pudding:
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Riz Au Lait du Patron de La Fourchette
You’ll Need
- 6 cups whole milk
- 1/2 cup sugar
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 1/2 cup of that sushi rice (the stuff that gets all glutinous and squishy, y’know?)
- 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
- As much cinnamon as you want all up in there
The Steps
- Combine 5 cups milk, sugar, salt and stir on medium high heat until it’s pretty boil-y
- Add rice and stir in real good, then bring your heat down to a simmer
- Stir it every so often until it’s all thick and gooey and smells super good—texture and consistency can be personal, we know, but this particular one errs more toward creamy. This should take around an hour or so, maybe a little less or longer depending on the whims of the gods.
- Once you have it where you want it, go ahead and turn off the stove and plop your vanilla extract in there—just make sure you stir it in real good while it’s still pretty hot, because, baby, if it cools down, you’re gonna regret how hard a time you’ll have.
- Once your vanilla is in, let it cool a little bit on the stovetop, but know you’re ultimately gonna put it in your fridge for a bit. It might get pretty thick, but you still have that last cup of milk from before, and you can mix some of that in before you dish it out, just add a little splash at a time to make sure it hits your preferred creaminess level.
- Dust with all that cinnamon we were talking about.
Oh, sure, you can add raisins or coconut whatever, but why? It’s like, raisins just ruin a perfectly good oatmeal cookie, why are you gonna put ‘em in pudding? Bonus tip: We’re no fan of reheating something in the microwave (makes things too soggy), but it just plain works for rice pudding...if you want it warm and all that.
Even Jeff Beck liked rice pudding.
Also
-Do you like the Farmers Market? Yeah, you do. But do you also know its hours and such change with the winds (by which we mean seasons)? Well, they do, plus there are two market locations, which is why it’s handy that the powers that be over there have released an online calendar with hours and dates and locations and such. Find it here and go nuts.
-If you’ve been missing Back Street Bistro since it closed in 2017—or, more specifically, its soups—you should know that Santa Fe’s Anita Salazar recently opened a new spot called Soup Star that pays homage to and even includes recipes from Back Street’s David Jacoby. You’ll find Soup Star at 1372 Vegas Verdes Drive (in the former Plant Base Café, which we also miss)—you’ll even find Back Street’s famous Hungarian mushroom soup on the menu. Did you know Salazar also used to work for Jacoby? Cool! We love when people who worked at a place keep that place going, especially when we love(d) that place—y’know, like the New Santa Fe Baking Co. or, now, Soup Star.
-Seems news from late last year that downtown coffee shop Agapao would take over the Ecco Espresso & Gelato space just across Marcy Street might have been premature. According to Agapao owner Dave Black, he got a lease all set to go, but never received a key from Ecco’s Matt Durkovich. As for your old friend The Fork...well, we’d just like a cup of coffee, really.
-We’ve been enjoying The Bite newsletter from Edible New Mexico. It’s almost like they took a look at our life’s work and put it right up there on the internet, albeit in a more staid manner. We bet they hardly ever say “fuck.”
-We hear the Santa Fe Foodies Facebook group is going on group dates to eat pizza and stuff, and we just think that’s adorable. We wonder if they fight amongst themselves in real life the way they do online. WE ARE KIDDING—NO LETTERS! WE ARE GLAD PEOPLE ARE FRIENDS! Anyway, the group is a solid resource and, it seems, great way to make new buds who also like eating.
Shoutout to reader Matthew Z., who reminded us of this banger cinematic moment.
SHOUT-OUT FROM A READER!
Speaking of shout-outs, we finally got a few, but keep ‘em coming, dear readers! This week, we’ll highlight a shout-out from reader Michelle C., who says, “We went to Arroyo Vino for Restaurant Week. Yes, it’s in the middle of nowhere, and yes it is a little more expensive. But…it was really good. Great atmosphere, attentive servers, and delicious food. I am having daydreams about that focaccia starter. It is my new obsession. It was sooooo good. Can’t go wrong with warm bread and butter.”
We agree, Michelle, and we’d point out, too, that Arroyo Vino’s wine program is excellent—it even has a shop, special events, one-off bottles and other surprises. Thanks for the missive, Michelle!
More Tidbits
-We hear Toblerone parent company Mondelez, makers of that triangular choco bar that seems to delight and baffle anyone new to shapes, will have to switch out an image of the Matterhorn on its packaging for that of a generic mountain. Seems Switzerland has laws about product origins, and since the US-owned company is moving some of its stuff to Slovakia, they’ll no longer reap the benefits of Matterhorn-adjacency.
-Just like the montage scene of some apocalypse-y movie, English supermarkets are rationing certain fruits and veg (that’s short for “vegetables,” and we used this abbreviation to save time). Seems poor weather in places like Spain and North Africa are behind the new plan, but British folks looking for things like tomatoes and cucumbers and other veg (now, remember, that’s short for “vegetables,” and it’s a time- and space-saving abbreviation we’ve employed for everyone’s ease of use) are reportedly limited to three packages at a time. This is particularly wack at the moment given rising grocery prices pretty much everywhere, and one does wonder when we’ll get relief on things like eggs and veg (veg, of course, being the shortened term we’re using for “vegetables” to save both time and space). Over here in America, meanwhile, nothing has felt good since the early 1980s as far as we know.
-If you’ve grown tired of imbibing soda, OJ and/or purple stuff, know that Sunny D-née-Sunny Delight has released a vodka seltzer. Setting aside how millennials have truly gone too far—and you just know it’s some fucking 38-year-old marketing dude who thinks he’s funny behind this shit—we have to wonder if it’s any good. Apparently it has no sugar and is only 95 calories. As for what is or was in Sunny D at any point in human history...well, that’s anyone’s guess.
-If you’ll recall, we were just talking about Girl Scout Cookies (or GSCs as we call them) a couple weeks back, and they’re back in the news as those adorable young cookie slingers are bummed about people buying up boxes and selling them on eBay. “While we are happy that there’s such a strong demand for our cookies year-over-year, we’re saddened that the platforms and the sellers are disregarding the core mission of the cookie program and are looking to make a profit off of the name without supporting our mission and the largest girl-led entrepreneurship program in the world,” a representative said.
-Good news for people who don’t get how making chili is part of the reward of eating chili—fast food chain Wendy’s will reportedly start selling its famous and beloved chili in grocery stores. The new product is a co-branding effort between Wendy’s and Conagra, the folks behind Chef Boyardee and Slim Jim, among others.
A Totally Scientific Breakdown of The Fork’s Correspondence
In the print edition of SFR this week, Poki Tako is the place to be, and not just because of the bowls.
Number of Letters Received
35
*Reminds us of this.
Most Helpful Tip of the Week (a barely edited letter from a reader)
“It’s ‘Time After Time!’
*We’ll file this under “S” for “Should have actually read the thing before you yelled at us.”
Actually Helpful Tip(s)
“...the tweezers on every Swiss Army Knife is also a tuning fork that plays the note B-flat, in case you need to tune up for your oompah band.”
*A neat piece of information from reader Chris M. Now, to be fair, we believed Chris, even if we didn’t have the means to test it ourselves, but we also wanted to learn more and conducted some research. From what we can tell, this might not be true. HOWEVER, two things are indeed true: Chris could be making an awesome joke, and we love him for it, AND, there totally WAS a Swiss Army Knife made in Germany in 1880 that came with a tuning fork among more than 100 other things like a gun, a couple of saws, some knives, a pen or two, a straight razor and lots more. You can see that amazingly weird thing by clicking riiiiiiight here.
Full of rice and a little creamy,
The Fork
PS: The ‘90s were WILD.
