The Fork: Peach=Human Butt

Millions of peaches

Though the mighty peach has somehow become a stand-in for the human butt, we’re pretty pumped to tell you that we’ve got a recipe for a peach pie kind of thing called a slump—and a peach salsa, courtesy of SFR’s own Brianna Kirkland. She’s back in the office at long last after the pandemic madness, and she’s celebrating by sharing two (yeah, two!!!!!) recipes with you jabronis? That’s nice as hell, so let’s not waste any time!

Peach Salsa

Ingredients:

  • 2 cups diced peaches (white or yellow)
  • 1 cup quartered cherry tomatoes
  • 1/3 cup diced radishes
  • 1/8 cup finely diced red onion
  • 1 small serrano or jalapeño, finely diced
  • 1 & 1/2 tbsp. julienned mint and/or rough chopped cilantro
  • 2 tsp. salt (or to taste)
  • Juice of one lime

To Make It:

  • Combine all ingredients and use to top chicken or fish, or eat with chips.

Holy smokes—one step?! Amazing. Y’all should make this. Y’all should make this so hard. Thanks, Bri! But let us not forget that we have a whole second recipe from Bri. Let us chant in the streets: “BRI! BRI! BRI! BRI! BRI!”

Peach Slump

For the puree:

  • 3 yellow peaches, diced
  • Juice of half a lemon
  • Heavy pinch of salt
  • 1/4 cup peach nectar

For the filling:

  • 3 white peaches, blanched, peeled, and cut into thin wedges
  • 1 tbsp. flour
  • 1 tbsp. sugar (or to taste)
  • Sprinkle of cinnamon
  • Reserved puree

For the slump topping:

  • 3/4 cup flour
  • 1/4 cup sugar
  • 1/8 tsp. salt
  • 2 tbsp. butter
  • 3/4 tsp baking powder
  • 1/4 tsp baking soda
  • 1/2 cup buttermilk or whole milk/Greek yogurt

Directions:

  • Preheat oven to 375°
  • Blanching peaches: Bring a large pot of water up to a boil, and prepare an ice bath, score a small X in the bottom of each peach, submerge peaches into boiling water for 30-45 seconds, then remove them to the ice bath.

Prepare the puree:

  • Blanch the peaches.
  • When peaches have cooled, remove the peels, dice the fruit and add to a blender or food processor.
  • Squeeze the lemon over the diced peaches, add the pinch of salt and peach nectar. Puree till smooth. Strain through a fine mesh strainer.

Prepare the filling:

  • Blanch the peaches, peel them and cut into thin wedges.
  • Add the flour sugar and cinnamon to the puree, then fold in the peach wedges.

Prepare the topping:

  • Combine the flour, sugar, salt, baking powder and baking soda.
  • For best results, freeze the butter until firm, and then use a cheese grater to grate in two tablespoons of butter into the flour mixture.
  • You can use butter milk or a mixture of Greek yogurt thinned with whole milk to make 1/2 cup. Add the liquid to the flour mixture and mix to combine. The consistency should be like a wetter biscuit texture.

Bake the slump:

  • Divide the peach filling mixture between 2-4 large ramekins (depending on your size container) making sure not to fill more than 2/3 full.
  • Drop the topping by spoonfuls on top of the peach filling.
  • Place the ramekins on a baking sheet, and bake in a 375° oven for 25-30 minutes.

Serve with ice cream and enjoy!

Heads up that we’re not around next week, folks. We still love you, we just need to take a little break, y’know? Avoid that burnout? Keep it real? Be cool? You know? You know what we mean? DO YOU?!

Obviously.

Also

-Anybody been over to the CHOMP food hall for a little something from Serum Organic Juice Bar ? We just put it on our list, so while we can’t tell you we’ve had it yet, we CAN tell you that it exists.

-Word on the street is that Ecco Espresso & Gelato is hiring folks. We mention this because our boss has been whining about the place being closed the other day for, like, hours and hours. Of course, now we’re having deja-vu and wondering if we already told you this. IF we did, just, like, be glad that we’re telling you anything in the first place.

-More than one person has told us to remind everyone to be wary of added gratuities on restaurant checks. As we hear it, a few places in Santa Fe have started including a 20% tip on the bill as a matter of fact. We’re not anti-this, actually, but we do think that if a restaurant does it, they should let folks know.

-Don’t forget that Edible New Mexico’s Green Chile Cheeseburger Smackdown goes down this weekend at the Santa Fe Brewing Co. It’s sold out, we hear, but we also know that you can sometimes find last-minute tickets to things on craigslist-dot-com or, like, the Santa Fe Foodies Facebook group.

-Speaking of this weekend, just because the Fiestas parades and such were cancelled doesn’t mean you won’t find funnel cake and turkey legs and corn and, like, probably all kinds of other amazing fried things on the Plaza. We know for sure that Saturday means fair food at least, and probably Sunday, too. Just head downtown and follow the sound.

-And speaking of speaking of things, we heard a rumor that Thai Bistro in the Eldorado subdivision is looking to sell the restaurant. Anybody want to buy that? We couldn’t find a website or a Facebook page, though, so...yeah. Just know that we heard it from a very reliable source who doesn’t want to go public.

-We’re also sadly hearing that Fast & Real Burritos (née Burrito Spot originale), which also does not have a website we could find, has closed. Those burritos were seriously so fast and so real. RIP to a legendary spot.

More Tidbits

-Seems like there’s always new research suggesting something or other about the foods we love, but according to a new study we read about in USA Today (the paper for people who hate reading), having a third cup of coffee could reduce your risk of heart attack. Based on our coffee intake, and doing the simple math, we believe this means we’re immortal. Huzzah!

-Ummmm, excuse us, but the Big-Ass British Bake-a-Thon is returning this year?!? Actually, someone’s just told us it’s actually Great British Bake Off , but still—legendary British comic Matt Lucas is in the upcoming season, so—score.

-We know The Fork drops too late for Rosh Hashanah, BUT that doesn’t mean you can’t get down with this recipe for challah rolls from the folks at Delish-dot-com. Challah, as you might know, is also the best bread for makin’ French toast, so sock on that, less spongy breads!

-Oh, dang, HuffPost wrote this whole thing about peaches , obviously by traveling forward in time, stealing our peach plan, then returning back in time. Whatevs. There are some pretty beautiful recipes in here, but not as beautiful as ours.

-We frequent many a food site to bring you news you can...well, not use, per se, but, like, know. Yeah—news you can know. Anyway, we used to really like Popsugar-dot-com because they’d tell us things about lots of other, uh, things, but lately, it seems like if they update at all it’s lists of things at Trader Joe’s. Did Trader Joe’s buy Popsugar-dot-com? Who can say? And you be the judge. Is it too much?

-Like sake? Of course you do, it’s delicious. But what do we really know about American sakes? Are they worth it? Are there more of them lately? Should you stop acting like we can only keep drinking things crafted in their place of origin? yes to all of that! Catch this guide to the things we just said .

Follow the sound.

A Totally Scientific Breakdown of The Fork’s Correspondence

In this week’s print edition of SFR, learn more about Honeymoon Brewery , a place you should love by now if you don’t already.

Number of Letters Received

19

*Honestly glad to see folks taking Labor Day as seriously as Serial Mom does.

Most Helpful Tip of the Week (a barely edited letter from a reader)

No tips.

*Meh.

Actually Helpful Tip(s)

Not even real ones.

*Double-meh

From a factory downtown,

The Fork

PS. Can we maybe try to get a viral hashtag going? We’re thinking something like #PeachEqualsHumanButt