We had so much fun learning about the noble coconut last week that we wanted to keep the good times going. And so we turned to our wheel-o-topics, a very real and in no way fake physical wheel that we spin to decide on the content of each Fork. The results? Bananas. B-a-n-a-n-a-s. Yes, friends, that little yellow tube that Kirk Cameron says is proof of God and that you probably have in your kitchen right now. Let’s just dive right in, shall we?
First of all, the banana you know and love looks nothing like the bananas of yore. Cultivated bananas, by which we mean those mainstream bananas that we like OK, but we were really more into their first record, were domesticated over about a bazillion years from a small subset of wild bananas. Over time, these were whittled down to what banana fans considered the best two: Musa acuminata and Musa balbisiana, and the genetic signatures of those two types are present in every fucking banana you’ve ever eaten in your life. Anyway, experts believe bananas might just be the world’s first cultivated fruit, because everyone loves them and they’re cool.
The earliest example of the bananas you know and love come from two places: New Guinea and the East African highlands, the latter of which includes plantains, which slap. Luckily, we can get things all over the world now, because have you ever had a friend plantain?
Because banana farmers have propagated the bananas with the fewest seeds for so so so so so so so so long, we’ll likely hit a point soon (which we mean in the relative sense of soon, like how Cleopatra lived closer to our time than the building of the pyramids) that is completely devoid of bananas. Yes, friends, bananas have grown increasingly sterile over time, and we might have to live without them. No word on what that means for Runts candy.
Ever heard of Samuel Zemurray and the Cuyamel Fruit Company? Think of him/it like a precursor to the Chiquita banana company, and know that it’s a really complicated story, but here’s the bird’s eye view: A young guy realized that if people had regular access to bananas, they’d probably go bananas, so he headed to Honduras and started growing bananas like a maniac. Like most massive companies, this is great for the white folks at the top, but the people who did the work, the Hondurans, weren’t paid so well, if at all, and often worked insane hours (ever heard that Harry Belafonte song “Day O!”? It’s like that.) Anyway, this guy did all this exploitation in the pursuit of shipping and selling bananas before they went bad (though we know now that’s the way we want ‘em when we’re making banana bread, or banana b as we call it), because that way he could charge more—oh, and it totally destabilized the whole region when he went to business war with the United Fruit Company. There’s more history to the matter, but just know this is where the phrase Banana Republic comes from, which kind of makes the clothing brand name seem gross.
Did you know a bunch of bananas isn’t called a bunch, it’s called a hand? And that bananas are actually considered berries? Of course, you don’t want to be that person who’s all like, “Tomatoes are actually blah-blah-blah-blah-blah!”
Bananas also reduce swelling, protect from diabetes, drop potassium in your assium and are rich in fiber. They’ve got those antioxidants, too, and you def don’t want oxidants. We also hear they’re great for your heart, can aid in reducing blood pressure and, most importantly, have that cool natural wrapping.
Lastly, know that the banana you’re eating right now or later or before is likely of the Cavendish variety, and that there are something like 50 billion (yes, billion) tons of those bad boys produced around the planet each year. Beyond that, it likely came from China or India, but maybe Ecuador or Brazil. They’re good travelers, too, and we like them a little green instead of squishy unless, as we said, we’re baking bread—or breaking bad.
You know it’s what you were thinking about this whole time.
Also
-Oh, dang, that choco and coffee fest we told you about a bit ago that’s aptly called the Chocolate & Coffee Fest is fixing to go down this weekend, April 2 and 3, at Expo New Mexico. Know that when you’re wondering where all the latte art, baking competitions, wine pairings and coffee/choco-themed yoga happens.
-So a number of our wino buds have been screaming relentlessly about the Ahmyo Wine Garden on Canyon Road, but telling us to not tell anyone because they want to keep it for themselves, and while we understand the idea of a hidden gem and that knee-jerk reaction that comes from people knowing about a place over which you feel some sense of ownership, we’re letting our readers know that it exists, because it’s spring, they do music at Ahmyo, plus wine, they don’t sass people for incredibly long run-on sentences as far as we know and, perhaps most importantly, the owners likely want people to show up and spend money. So, in summation, we like long sentences, apparently, and the Ahmyo Wine Garden is GORGEOUS.
-Sweet Santa Fe has strawberry rhubarb and green chile caramel apple pies going right now, and we’re freaking out because we want ALL OF THOSE THINGS. BOTH? BOTH OF THOSE THINGS? Look, we want ‘em.
Lastly in local this week, we feel compelled to remind people about Revolution Bakery in Santa Fe, because we think it’s amazing it has been able to successfully develop and market a completely gluten-free bakery menu, and also because, and we really mean this, we’re tired of readers asking us where to find a gluten-free bakery.
And you KNOW this was the other thing you were thinking about.
This is a real thing. This is a real thing that happened in the past, and there’s absolutely nothing any of us can do about that.
More Tidbits
-We’ve been hearing a lot about a new wave of Southern distillers who are out to change the spirits game, and we’re down with that. Bourbon is, after all, delicious, and it doesn’t even stop there by a longshot. Of course, these things take time, and you’ll just have to read this piece about the most exciting bourbons and whiskeys out there to tide you over until things have......................distilled.
-We’ve been saying this for years to anyone who’ll listen (and some who won’t), but Food & Wine-dot-com really nailed it with their hot take about how Reese’s peanut butter cups are flawless. There’s not a better way to make them. Outta here, Justin’s organic nonsense.
-IKEA’s apparently getting ready to up its food game with a menu that skews vegetarian. Amazing. We think it’s finally time for the people of the world to ask themselves how much meat is going to be enough. Cows are like giant dogs. Just saying. Naw, but really, eat whatever you want, just know that IKEA’s got your backs, vegetarians.
A Totally Scientific Breakdown of The Fork’s Correspondence
This week’s print edition of SFR comes with a two-fer of food coverage, including a review of The Pantry’s newest downtown spot, Rio, as well as news from local chef Rocky Durham, who left his Palace Prime position to head to Moldova, where he says he’ll offer up assistance to Ukrainian refugees.
Please note we’re heading out of town next week, so you’ll have to get by without us. We know you can do it, and maybe we’ll return from our adventures with some good food stuff to impart?
Number of Letters Received
25
*A cavalcade of niceness.
Most Helpful Tip of the Week (a barely edited letter from a reader)
“Bro.”
*Don’t gender us.
Actually Helpful Tip(s)
A cavalcade of meanness?
*We miss Becky.
Peeled,
The Fork
