The Fork: Things we learned about food and New Mexico from online maps

Carrots on pizza? Yikes. This and other maps!

Were you around, like, two-ish years ago when a map circulating the internet—which ostensibly contained real data, mind you—seemingly claimed that New Mexico’s favorite pizza topping is carrots?

Let’s take a look at that thing here...

It’s unhinged, right? Right. You should take it with a grain of salt, though, as its provenance is unknown at best and questionable at worst. Are some of these a joke? What’s up with corn? And avocado on pizza? Ain’t no one looking for that. And, since New Mexico’s doesn’t say “Green Emmer-Effing Chile,” you know the map is suspect.

Still, Dion’s Pizza (being that beloved-in-New-Mexico-pizza joint that has made Le Forkette feel sick no fewer than 7,000 times) thought it was rich enough to drop an April Fool’s gag via social media and the online food-spurred ecosystems (otherwise known as online bitch/moaners) were incensed (that’s anecdotal, and you’ll just have to trust us that every single person online, us included, is the worst monster in recorded history).

As it turns out, there are lots of maps about America and food out there. Take, for example, this other one we found from Vividmaps-dot-com, which also breaks down popular pizza toppings by state (though with the added info that it’s about 2021 Google search trends):

This one says anchovies, to which we also say, “What the hell, man? Can it be that New Mexico pizza lovers aren’t all about green chile?” Then later, we were like, “No, it is the map that is wrong.” Y’know, unless New Mexicans are on Google all like, “Why do dummies like anchovies on pizza?”

Or take a look at this map from market research firm HubScore (which the Morning Word brought to our attention, kicking off this whole hubbub in the first place):

This one says New Mexico is all about Cheetos, with which we can’t argue, because we totally just ate two small bags of those bad boys. Doritos’ stranglehold on the South is kind of alarming, but maybe no more so than the fact that America apparently only likes, like, five snacks. The data for this one is based purely in number of online searches, which we actually consider suspect, because if you don’t know that the name of the place to get Cheetos is The Store, maybe snacking is too complicated for you.

So, yeah, we kind of went down this rabbit hole and it was weird. It can be hard to tell what’s a joke or not out there, but we must say that we both find the following map about states’ most popular food from the Cooking Channel to be visually striking and so totally for real:

Why, you ask, do we find it “so totally for real?” Easy—because it rightly gets that we’re all about the GCCB here (that’s green chile cheeseburger for our non-regular readers; which, we reiterate, sounds like an old punk club).

So what’s the moral of the story? Well, it would seem that while we’re all out here barely making ends meet, websites have no shortage of interns to put together weird maps that present a brief moment in time or, in some cases—like, as in carrot cases—just seem not real at all.

Have you stumbled across any interesting data about New Mexico and food lately? Let us know at thefork@sfreporter.com.

Here’s a fun little song about a map.

Also

  • Even though it really steams our clams when newsletters and/or websites use “we’re the only food thing,” language like The Bite from Edible does, we’ll hand it to them for having a really cool roundup of Santa Fe-based Happy Hour experiences. We’ve put together lists like that in the past (here’s a link to one, but it’s old so DO NOT ASSUME IT IS STILL THE RIGHT INFORMATION), so we know it’s not easy. May it help you get housed too early in the day, resulting in a harried journey home where you make toast two or three times in a row before deciding you want to visit your childhood dog’s grave.
  • Speaking of getting housed, the Rosewood Inn of the Anasazi tells us that it has expanded its spirits programming. How a hotel tells an amorphous gas being like us anything is anyone’s guess, but the point is there are expanded options over there, and you don’t even have to stay at the hotel to get in on things like tequila tastings, guided whiskey tastings and more. Here’s a link, ya bunch of jabronis.
  • Here’s a reminder that the Santa Fe Farmers’ Market (and yes, the apostrophe goes at the end) is knee-deep in its Market Ag Bag program, which is basically a way to get Farmers’ Market stuff in a bag and in an easy-to-pick-up way. Get the details by clicking right here. The Farmers’ Market is cool, man. Did you know that people on SNAP food assistance get double bucks over there? And that once someone handed us an apple slice there that we still dream about?
  • We are once again here to remind you that the Santa Fe Master Extension Master Gardeners Newsletter is always jam-packed with info that might entice and delight the food lovers among us. The most recent edition has all kinds of cool info about beneficial insects which, if you’re into growing food, you just gots to know about. Read more here, and sign up. Tell ‘em The Fork sent you. Oh, they won’t know who we are, we just think everyone should hear about us.
  • Huh. Here’s something: It seems the soon-to-open Escondido from chef and perennial SFR fave Fernando Ruiz has some kind of membership program for when it opens that will include priority reservations, pre-sale opportunities, gifts, members events and more. You can apply here. If you’d like to know a little more about Ruiz, you can find everything you need here (including a dope-ass taco recipe that’s easy as heck and delicious as fuk—yes, without the “c”).
  • We didn’t actually know that Upper Crust Pizza had stopped offering daytime delivery at some point, but we hear they’re offering it again starting...well, before we even wrote this thing. Honestly? We love the crust over there, and we’ve always known it as the type of pizza place that employs metalheads, so we love that, too. Give ‘em a call and ask.
  • Happy 1st Birthday, Soup Star, the Southside soup-forward restaurant that took one of the weirdest locations in all food-dom and built it into a clean and comfortable spot to get the best soup around. Way to go, little buddies! Oh, and for you Santa Fe people of a certain age, you can get the same Hungarian mushroom soup popularized at Back Street Bistro some years ago at Soup Star. Just saying.
  • Looks like Santa Fe’s Casa Bonita (no relation to the Trey Parker/Matt Stone-owned rezzie of the same name in Colorado) has opened in the former Second Street Brewery Originale location on—get this—Second Street. Owner Luis Ortiz seems cool. He even told the Santa Fe New Mexican he’ll be open seven days a week, which is cool for people who kind of work near there.
  • A very nice person from The Compound fine dining restaurant on Canyon Road whose name we don’t recall, but we’re not going all the way back to that email because we’ve come too far, wrote to tell us the restaurant has received its first-ever Four Diamond distinction from AAA. Do we find it odd that we live in a world where tow truck go-betweens and tire companies dictate what food is best? Yes, but this is America, goddammit! Anyway, it’s a big deal, though, and a pretty solid year for owner/chef Mark Kiffin (y’know, since The Compound also made the shortlist for semifinalists for the Beardo, which is the name we desperately wish the James Beard Awards would adopt—PLEASE CALL IT THE BEARDO! EVERYONE WOULD LOVE IT!) Anyway, Kiffin’s having a sweet year up there, so...word!
  • Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah—what is Fusion Tacos up to right now? Y’know, other than making some of the best tacos in all the land (order the crispy carnitas, thank us later)? According to a recent Facebook post, the ever-growing company is looking for a few good local coffee roasters for a special project. What that is, how it will work and what it will mean is anyone’s guess (we’re guessing it’s something with coffee...some kind of coffee project). Click the link here if you roast coffee and drop us a line if you and Fusion crack the coffee/taco matrix.

We’d point out that the maps above are really more like charts and graphs rather than maps. Like, you couldn’t navigate with them. Thus, this song by one of the greatest bands you’ve never heard of.

More Tidbits

  • Ope, looks like we all jumped the gun a bit when everyone assumed Wendy’s meant “surge pricing” in a recent bit of PR that noted the company would take advantage of “dynamic pricing.” Turns out they never said a dang thing about surge (and we don’t mean that Coke product from the ‘90s that made us see God). “Wendy’s will not implement surge pricing,” says the burger chain’s Vice President Heidi Schauer. “We didn’t use that phrase, nor do we plan to implement the practice.” Will Wendy’s do a bunch of AI stuff that likely leads to fewer jobs, though? Oh, totally. In an effort to shut everyone up, however, Wendy’s seems to be selling burgers for a buck right now.
  • Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you surely know that Dune Two: The Secret of the Ooze is in theaters now, but you might not know that a bit of branded product action is making the rounds as well. That’s right, buds, some theaters are selling a special popcorn bucket that resembles the Shau-Hulud, those butthole-mouthed sandworms from the books and movies—just as Frank Herbert always intended. Though we prefer our sandworms of the Beetlejuice variety, we would be remiss to not point out those things are practically Fleshlights in appearance. And the sad thing is, you know there’s some nerd out there all like, “FINALLY!” Anyway, if this item reads like madness to you, click this (but only after you click everything else you can click above).
  • Say what you will about Walmart (and it is undoubtedly an evil corporation), but we hear they’re lowering some food prices to that of pre-inflation. Some folks maybe don’t have the ability to shop at pricier stores, so this is good news for them—not that we shouldn’t be bummed about how the workers get treated. It’s just...sometimes you’ve gotta stay fed if you’re gonna do anything worthwhile, such as sticking it to The Man.
  • Jaya Saxena, being one of our favorite food writers working today, has. a cool new piece about how children’s cookbooks are finally growing up, by which she means they’re teaching kids how to actually cook with stoves and knives and bald eagles and hand grenades and everything. It’s about time, too, as kids are often treated like idiots, and that’s totally unfair. They’re capable, dammit!
  • If you missed it, the once-mighty Vice is shutting down its vice.com site, laying off hundreds and, at least according to writer and former Santa Fean Anna Merlan on X (formerly twitter), only tweeting (Xing?) about food stuff now on its @Vice account. You must have an X (Twitter?) account to see that stuff we linked above, so...sucks if you don’t, we guess, but nobody told you to not engage with the culture, bro. Anyway, it’s wild that Vice boned so many employees. The company was worth billions not so long ago. Perhaps you, dear reader, should examine your ravenous lust for free content (like The Fork, which is free and always will be, but, like, damn, that doesn’t come with a lot of money for poor ol’ Fork).

A totally scientific breakdown of The Fork’s correspondence

In this week’s print edition of SFR, food’s back with a review of Joseph’s Culinary Pub.

Number of Letters Received: 37

*We responded to our favorites, and they know who they are.

Most Helpful Tip of the Week (a barely edited letter from a reader):

“I’m writing to say I’m starting to like you.”

*That’s how we do it, dear reader. We wear ‘em down.

Actually Helpful Tip(s):

“Denny’s isn’t the only place trying to sneak their food onto our plates under another restaurant name in Santa Fe. Chili’s is selling hot wings like that under the name ‘It’s Just Wings.’ I feel for that after ordering online and regretted it immediately.”

*Reader David H. out there doing the good work to keep us up-to-date on this weird new Russian nesting doll of mid-to-lower-tier chain restaurants. Thanks, David. Now we know and we hope this helps everyone else.

The stars are our only map,

The Fork