Last week we were all like, “We love grilled cheezers because our mom used to make ‘em for us and nostalgia+food=fuck yeah. This week, we’ve got a similar tale, only one wherein we tell you how we avoided oatmeal for years as a kid—not just because the name is incredibly unappetizing, but because in its purest form, oatmeal kinda looks like a big bowl of barf (cue sanctimonious letters about how we’re a monster for using the phrase “bowl of barf” in a food newsletter).
Anyway, we changed our oatmeal tune a few years back when we discovered that The Teahouse serves it with a little side of whipped cream, and whipped cream is amazing on oatmeal and we’ve been scarfing it ever since. The only problem? We don’t have the wherewithal to make non-instant oatmeal, and we don’t like instant oatmeal. Now you’re probably wondering what we mean by “wherewithal,” and we mean that we’re not about to stand in front of a stove stirring a slowly squishifying pot full of oats; but we’ll eat it in a restaurant, though.
Enter Café Catron (or the former New York Deli or, if you’re nasty, the former Bagelmania…and it might always be Bagelmania to us), that downtown brunchy-lunchy-dinner-y spot on Catron Street with a whole lot of history. The family Vanderhider took the spot over a few years back, kept some of the stuff that worked, ditched some of the other stuff, renovated and otherwise improved the spot. And now, with a love for oatmeal in our heart and a diaper full of dreams, we’re pumped to tell you that we love the oatmeal over there—big time.
First, the bad news: Oatmeal is not (we repeat NOT) a regular, everyday menu item. According to a very nice lady on the phone, it’s a special the restaurant trots out a few times a year. We know that the usefulness of a food newsletter that’s all like, “Good luck later this year!” is suspect, but we feel we needed to tell you about this stuff. Not only was it just the best texture of chewy and creamy, the option to put bananas, blueberries and strawberries all up in there means you don’t even need whipped cream to get this particular oatmeal into the right sweetness area. Of course, a bit of brown sugar and some heated almond milk didn’t hurt—they didn’t hurt one bit.
This particular oatmeal set us back $11.50 (which included that fruit we talked about, plus that brown sugar we talked about and the almond milk we also talked about), and that straight-up felt like a deal and a half for the massive bowl.
So what’s the moral? Café Catron has wowed us again; we forgot to take a photo of the food while we were there; we think if enough Fork readers call or show up and ask about oatmeal, maybe we could make it a regular menu item; and sometimes food that looks like a big ol’ bowl of barf can taste so so so so so so good. #Oatmeal4Lyphe!
We, like Inherit the Wind star Dick York, like us some oats.
A Letter We Received
Welcome to a special section that we slapped into this week’s Fork wherein we’re going to plop down a single letter from a reader, because we find it funny. This letter came to SFR’s editor Dave Cathey, but is all about your pal The Fork—let’s take a read, shall we?
“I have just been sent your food column, The Fork, from February 25th. This is the first time I have read it. My reaction is anything but positive. However, having said that, on the positive side, the column has useful and helpful information about food and eating in Santa Fe.
On the negative side, the column is filled with non-words that the writer, evidently, considers to be cute. The tone is cheeky and too-cool-for-words. Last, but hardly least it has gratuitous, unwanted and off-putting vulgarities as well as an utterly irrelevant insult to The Donald. The writer may consider it clever to put all these in, but it is not clever, it is rude, low and adolescent writing. Perhaps the writer is fifteen and if he or she is, I apologize for wanting too-high and unreachable standards. If the writer is over fifteen, the writer ought to be instructed to do better or be gotten rid of. Your paper once had higher standards.”
Thank you for your time.
John L.”
Hi, John, we just wanted to respond to your letter by reminding you that if you’re gonna dunk on someone’s writing (especially when it’s super-rad like here in Le Fork), you should probably not end sentences with prepositions (as in your statement wherein you call for us to be fired or, in your words, “gotten rid of.”). As cool as that is of you, we here at The Fork have higher standards. Further, we’ve written this newsletter for nearly a decade, so if you’re just tuning in and are bothered by our whole deal, we’re kinda like, “where have you been, bruh?” We’d refer you to our literally millions of fans—and our position that you, sir, do not dictate what our standards are, particularly if you just now noticed that we’re here—but we don’t share email addresses. We’re too busy scarfing oatmeal and brekkie b’s and writing cool-ass sentences week after week after week. Also, John, eff Trump forever, we’ll never stop saying that! Bon appétit, John!
Love,
The Fork
P.S. We are not 15, sir, as our Dick York knowledge from above likely proves).
Also
- Last week we were all like, “Don’t worry about Café Castro, because one of our writers knows something!” and that writer did and now they’re telling you all about it through this link. In short, the beloved New Mexican joint is going the worker-owned collective route, and that means a whole lot of change. If you’d like to learn a bit more about that, including when the new owner/worker group is hoping to re-open, click that link above.
- Y’know, we’ve had scones from local scone biz Santa Fe Sconery, but we actually didn’t grok the fact that it has a physical space inside the Capital Coal Neighborhood Eatery at 326 Guadalupe Street until just now. Wild. We love a scone, too, like Larry David loves a scone, so we’re gonna make a point to get over there. You, also, should swing by if you like a scone.
- Since we’re always seeing mentions about new (or new to us) food trucks in Santa Fe, we wanted to let y’all know about Gorditas Moreno. The photos we’ve seen look AMAZING, and we otherwise only know that you’ll find ‘em at 1966 Cerrillos Road. We’re adding it to our list, though full disclosure, our list has become pretty long and we’re just one person). If you get there first, tell us about it at thefork@sfreporter.com.
- A great many of you have reached out to us to inquire about downtown establishment Sassella from chef Christian Pontiggia. Here’s what we know: Yes, it’s closed right now after an aging pipe situation caused trouble, as old buildings in Santa Fe seem wont to do. Last someone from SFR spoke with Pontiggia, which was in January, the plan was still to open up, it’s just that there’s a whole labyrinth of paperwork and permits and codes to consider. The short version is that Pontiggia does indeed plan to reopen when possible, we just might have to stay patient a little bit longer.
SCONE VIDEO
We, too, have strong feelings about what constitutes a scone.
More Tidbits
- Eater-dot-com compiled its own food-based Oscars for movies that do food good, and it’s a pretty fun and funny list for the culinary-inclined. You can check it out here. Just know that our favorite is the winning espresso machine from the Ralph Fiennes film Conclave.
- With flu season ravaging our towns and countryside(s), Food & Wine-dot-com has a breakdown of foods that just might help to boost your immune system while you’re out there staying alive (ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin’ aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive). The piece also breaks down why this is an important thing to do. Cool? Cool.
- As if the whole egg pricing thing wasn’t bad enough already, USA Today-dot-com reports that the USDA says those prices will probably increase 40% this year. This is terrible, because humans love eggs. What’s to become of our brekkie b’s? What of omelettes and cookies that don’t suck? Maybe we should all stock up or learn about chicken ownership in the meantime.
A Totally Scientific Breakdown of The Fork’s Correspondence
In the print edition of this week’s SFR, one of the dorks who works here sets out to try Joy’s Sushi Bar from the folks behind Santa Fe Asian Market. Will they love it? Find out when the paper drops Wednesday, March 5.
Number of Letters Received
11
*That’s a little better, though we’re still not sure why we can’t respond to you. We’re working on it! Do note from this week’s edition that if you send a bunch of “You suck, I’m the standards decider!” stuff, we’ll let everyone know.
Most Helpful Tip (A Barely Edited Comment From a Reader)
Goose egg.
*That’s a saying, right? A way to say “nothing” or “zero?” Right?
Actually Helpful Tip
Lots of fried chicken recs!
*This list is becoming as daunting as our food truck list!
Oats’d up and ready for the day,
The Fork
