We think you probably think that we don’t care what you think. There’s some truth to that, particularly as it applies to the “Shut up, The Fork!” set, but we also realize that The Fork exists for your entertainment (shout-out to everyone who loves us). As such, we sometimes like to check in to see how our readers are feeling. We’re some of the way into a new year, too, so it seemed like an OK time to gauge how everyone is feeling.
A couple ground rules, first, though, such as:
- Try to be constructive rather than hurtful
- Yelling doesn’t help anyone
- Read your answers back to yourself when you’re done writing them, because you might be surprised how much you want to change
- We will probably share your responses with the rest of the class next week or maybe the week after to give folks time to reply
- Remember that our email is thefork@sfreporter.com, just in case you’re curious
Cool? Cool. Thank you for taking the time to do this, y’know, if you do it. We know everyone is busy, and it’s likely we’ll be really whiny and stubborn about the things you write us. But still—let’s get into it!
1. What are we doing right in your estimation? What things work for you, and what would you like to see more of? Note that some people might hate the things you love.
2. What are we doing wrong? Without resorting to childish insults or telling us we’re stupid for not eating meat, what don’t you like? What do you want to see less of? Note that some people might love the things you hate.
3. Do you prefer when we offer recipes, fake/real history, both or neither?
4. On the rare occasion we figure out how to interview someone without revealing our super-secret identity, is that enjoyable? Would you like to see more interviews?
5. How do you feel about the music videos and old commercial videos that are vaguely related to the things about which we’re talking?
6. How do you feel the restaurant scene in Santa Fe is currently stacking up?
7. Are you more or less comfortable eating out now, or do you still take extra precautions if you go out at all?
8. Add any errant thoughts here, while remembering we’re only human and feel feelings and that we cry enough as it is without your nonsense.
We’re aware this is a different kind of survey, but while looking for a compilation of Family Feud hosts shouting “Survey says!” in a loop, which we never found, by the way, we came across this incredibly specific folk song for surveyors. This is like those t-shirts about how you drive a forklift in weird musical form. We absolutely love it—it’s so niche.
PS: How creepy was Richard Dawson?!
Also
-We hear that the recently vacated food truck in Eldorado’s La Tienda will soon gain new life as The Brunch Box Blue thanks to Arable sous chef DJ Sugar and Eldorado-based super-foodie Scott Blevins. No word on an opening date just yet, but there IS word on a signature dish, being a buttermilk biscuit filled with prosciutto, poached egg, wilted greens and tomato. Ummmm...Yum! Ohmygod, can you imagine if we said things like “Yum!” with sincerity? Gross.
-We know we bring up Plantita Vegan Bakery kind of a lot, but owner/baker Thomas Kamholz is always kicking off new things, so we figured you’d want to know, too. The newest thing we’ve seen is a chocolate cayenne cupcake. At first we were like, “Naw,” but then we thought about it for a second and were more like, “Yaw!” We want it. Bad. You should try it.
-We’re just now learning about Noa Noa Mexican Cuisine, a truck that offers up burgers and wings served, they say, “Noa Noa style,” down on Airport Road. It’s majorly on our list now.
-We don’t have Tik-Tok, but a friend told us we need to get it together to see Rachel Ray’s recent vid on refried beans. As we say, we haven’t seen it yet, and this is only really local news insofar as we heard it from a friend who lives here. “I’m not sure what she made in the end,” said this friend. Can’t wait, especially since we perused Ray’s Tik-Tok while writing this item, and it looks like sheer insanity.
-Lastly in local jazz, Santa Fe Pizza Gallery, being one of Santa Fe’s MANY new pizza joints, is officially open for business. Yowwwwwwwwwwww!!!
Meanwhile, continuing last week’s George Michael love...
More Tidbits
-You might have heard one of those maps that breaks down data by visual state-based word-placing-ness has been roaming around saying New Mexico’s favorite pizza topping is carrots. We didn’t put this in the local section because we were hoping to address the nation with our response: No state’s favorite pizza topping is carrots, and if you think green chile isn’t at the top of every New Mexican’s list, you’re out of your goddamned mind. Of course, we’re not counting n00bs, people who moved here and were mad the food wasn’t exactly the same as from wherever the hell they came from and/or straight-up jerks. We’re talking the real people.
-Budweiser, being a beer brand AND a horse, is set to release its first-ever zero carb beer. Wow, it’s just as Atkins always wanted, huh? Bud Light NEXT should appear someplace near you at, um, some point. Whaddya think, though? Will you try it?
-Avocados are going to get more expensive, they just are. And while that sucks, it’s a lot worse being a grower in Mexico than, say, someone who just really loves eating guacamole. We get it, we love it, too, but read this piece from Eater-dot-com and learn about a different perspective.
-Silly Thrillist-dot-com making a list of 50 must-try Trader Joe’s items and not including tempura shrimp. Look, we know TJ’s is, like, not that great, but those little shrimpies WORK. Believe us. BELIEVE US, DAMMIT!
-Japanese KFC has dropped recipes for onigiri rice balls and miso ramen rice. Dang, all they do here is, like, make shitty chicken and throw it out of the drive-thru window while screaming at you. That’s a harsh and false thing to say, we’re just saying that no American KFC drops knowledge like that.
-And then, in more news about countries that care about things more deeply than ours, a European court has ruled that whiskey makers can’t just slap the word “Glen” on a bottle if it’s not actually from Scotland. Cue twitter jokes everyone already made about Champagne.
A Totally Scientific Breakdown of The Fork’s Correspondence
In this week’s print edition of SFR, it’s Crepe City, USA; Population: You. Naw, jay-kay, but someone did go over to Mille, which we know is new, but which slaps. Read about it here.
Number of Letters Received
18
*We cannot believe nobody cared about that excellent pizza info from last week!!!
Most Helpful Tip of the Week (a barely edited letter from a reader)
“Big tiddy goth girls near you are looking to meet.”
*We don’t know how we got on that list, but we aren’t, like, MAD, per se.
Actually Helpful Tip(s)
Word on the street from reader Tess H. is that Piccolino’s Yoga sandwich with eggplant, spinach, red peppers and goat cheese served on toasted ciabatta bread is the best in town.
*We need this!
Un-surveyable,
The Fork
