1
DE VARGAS MOVIE THEATER CLOSED
Which explains why that one screen had Scotch tape on it for the last decade.
2
FORMER NM CONGRESSWOMAN HEATHER WILSON TO HEAD AIR FORCE
And it's not just planes anymore. We're talking space war strategy, too.
3
MEANWHILE, PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE YOU KNOW MARCHED IN SANTA FE (AND EVERYWHERE ELSE) LAST WEEKEND
And that ain't alternative facts, baby—that's just awesome!
4
IN FIRST 'PRESSER,' SEAN SPICER TELLS FOUR LIES TO THE AMERICAN PUBLIC
Pretty ballsy for a team that shouts "Fake news!" at everyone.
5
LEGISLATIVE SESSION KICKS OFF WITH BUDGET TINKERING BONANZA
Fingers crossed.
6
CARLSBAD CITY COUNCILOR JR DOPORTO POSTS INTENSELY MISOGYNISTIC COMMENTS ON HIS PERSONAL FACEBOOK PAGE FOLLOWING LAST SATURDAY'S WOMEN'S MARCH
Boo! Slime! Filth! Muck! Rubbish! Booooo!
7
A GRIZZLY BEAR WANDERED INTO THE SFR OFFICE, CAUSING US TO CURSE OUR GLARING LACK OF GUNS
Just kidding, that's not a thing even at all.