artdirector@sfreporter.com
1. HOLIDAYS OCCURRED
Which is probably why you feel so awful.
2. STATE MINIMUM WAGE TO REACH $12, BUT SOME STATE OFFICIALS WANT MORE
You know—because $12 is bullshit money and not enough for anyone to survive on alone?
3. SOUTHWEST AIRLINES HAVING A HELL OF A TIME LATELY
“Guess you should just go ahead and fuck right off, huh?” says company.
4. EMMA AND LIAM MOST POPULAR NM BABY NAMES IN 2022
Buncha anglophile, Jane Austen-loving dweebs out there.
5. BURGER CHAIN FAT BURGER OPENS ON SANTA CLARA PUEBLO
We couldn’t come up with a joke because more burgers sounds awesome.
6. ROMANIAN POLICE DENY THAT PIZZA BOX LED TO ARREST OF MISOGYNIST TIK-TOK JERK ANDREW TATE
Pizza, you say? Will that be thin-crust or Deep State?
7. ICE CUBE, BONE THUGS COMING TO NEW MEXICO 4/20
For some, this might be the best news they ever receive in their entire lives.
